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Rating: 3-3-3

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RPF* Real Person Fiction; IE Apping an actual celebrity

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Thread Contributor: Arjay Lo'RanWorking in mysterious ways
Dungeons and Dragons-Forgotten Realms

348 Posts
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Age:231
Job: Bard
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Mike

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#1
This was not the best day of Arjay's life. His first outing in Faerun as a god had gone better than he ever could have hoped, but the return? Ohhhh the return had been a mess. Blame not knowing the impulses of his power, blame being hurt and tired and weak, blame just being an idiot (he had his money on the last one), but he'd screwed things up royally. Oh, it was in his power to fix, of course... or it would have been, if Belle weren't hosting a malevolent item that was determined to not let him fix it and put a stop to the self-destructively foolish ideas going through her head all because in a moment of weakness, he had been a complete idiot.

Fortunately? While he failed to make any headway arguing with this spirit, he'd had another plan in mind already. One he didn't like as much, but still one that would work. He had some reservations about it, but the only one that this could really go badly for was himself... and that was acceptable right now.

He wasn't sure where Queth was right now, just that he could sense her in the Hub, and that was enough. He cast his magic out and the illusion formed next to her, with no warning or preamble. There wasn't time for that. If he were the one in trouble, that would be all right, but it was Belle in trouble, and there was no room for any error caused by delay.

"Queth? I need your help." He paused, then sighed, shame forcing him to be honest. "Belle needs you. She's not in danger," he quickly added. "But she needs someone to be there for her right now, and I'm the problem, not a solution."

@moon
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Shadowrun-Tabletop edition

158 Posts
8 Threads
Age:88
Job: "Travel Writer" (Smuggler)
Ship Status: Trying to date Belle
Sexual Orientation: Yes.
Moon

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Points: 2,615.77€
#2
Queth had been having a relatively peaceful day. Oh she had missed out on her chance to grab food at Belle's diner that morning, but she'd see her tomorrow, and it was all too easy for Queth to get caught up in a challenge. A starship engine wasn't wholly new to her, but it was still practice with less than familiar knowledge. She liked it. It was fun, figuring out how all the pieces worked together, and Queth knew that her friends here in the hub would approve of the less combative nature of the work.

Not that she'd ever let it dull her reflexes however. Something that was readily apparent in the gun sliding into one hand as she drew a ball of fire to the other at Arjay's rather harried appearance. Speaking honestly, she also thought it said something about Arjay's state that he didn't lead with the fact that there was no danger. He knew who Queth was. What Queth was. Despite the softer parts of herself that she had begun to allow others to see, she was still a warrior through and through. The word help was almost always accompanied by a request for backup to a fight.

Hearing Belle's name in close conjunction with a need for help had Queth spinning on her heel and sprinting, putting a spell beneath her feet to push her along faster than even her unnaturally long legs could carry her. The following comment- finally being told there was no danger, caused the smuggler to stop her magic, though her loping gait remained the same. She still had a supply of oxygen in the one side of her chest, enough to help her while she ran.

Queth's brow furrowed at the statement her friend made. "Later- I'm going to have questions. And if you value your belongings, you're going to answer them. You may be beyond long term damage now, but I doubt even you have the power to restore your entire inn from scratch." She half growled, half panted out, not pausing at the door to the diner and bounding through, taking the steps to Belle's home four at a time and casting a spell to unlock the door and hurry in.

"Belle?!" Queth called out, barely scraping together the breath necessary for the word, but figuring it was bad enough she was entering without being welcomed in, she should at least announce her presence.

@kel @mike
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DC- DC-TV-1

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#3
Even if Queth has only been a close friend Belle wouldn’t have wanted to see her in this exact second; after Arjay left, perhaps she could have used a friend even if she didn’t want one.

The problem was that Queth was more than simply her best girlfriend, she was Belle’s Girlfriend.

‘Belle!’

“Oh God.” The horrified whisper spoke to a sudden doubling down and sifting of guilt; now not only was she temping a taken man into a sin deep enough that he was physically punished for but someone who loved her was about to walk in on them.

Panic broke through the enforced calm, Belle stared wide eyed stupidly frozen, hands clutching the voluminous black-(hadn’t it been another color?) robe that covered her naked form.

“No. Don’t.” She whimpered uselessly as the door to her bedroom was flung open.

Logically, intellectually Belle might accept that Arjay at least didn’t see this as cheating, that Queth knew she was seeing other people, but the intellect level knowledge had no bearing on how she expected Queth to react to this sight emotionally no matter how well she hid it.

Because Belle would have been deeply hurt by the same event how could she expect anyone else to react differently?

So faced with overwhelming horrified embarrassment, shame, and guilt. Belle reacted the only way a good southern belle should.

She fainted.

@arjay
@alex
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Dungeons and Dragons-Forgotten Realms

348 Posts
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Age:231
Job: Bard
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Mike

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#4
Arjay, by virtue of being closer, caught Belle as she fainted, and then stood there for a second just processing the situation. Then, shaking his head, he lifted her, carefully arranging her onto the bed. "No, nothing about that should surprise me," he sighed, more to himself than anything. He couldn't quite complain, he supposed, this probably made things slightly more convenient for the next bit here. At the very least, he could fill Quethadia in on what actually happened instead of the 'twisted and filtered through strange morals and deliberately incorrect logic' version that Belle would tell just as soon as she was able.

Queth had said she wanted an explanation, so he began to give it as he freed a blanket to drape over Belle's body. "The short version is that I came back to the Hub about an hour ago, rather badly wounded. Belle got me off the street and helped me tend the wounds until I could heal." Almost as an afterthought, he walked over to where the little vial of divine poison lay, tucking it into the little bag of holding on his belt. "My wounds healed, the process being a bit overly dramatic and flashy, I admit, but to be fair you've met me, and I doubt anyone would expect different. Belle was startled, slipped, and fell onto me, right around when we were given a bit of a divine push to make the most of the moment." He gestured at the rose petals and other little touches Sune had left them, note and all, before giving a little wave of his hand to magically clear the rose petals away. "And, goddess help me, I was caught up in the moment and kissed her without thinking. And Belle, as we both know, never does anything of the sort without thinking. I was rather literally thoughtlessly doing something that even an idiot child could have seen would lead directly down a road to hurting her, and my power reacted apropriately, and once again dramatically, to... well, I don't know if 'punish' me is the right word. I was acting completely contrary to the nature I embody, though, so it slipped out of my control and started to overpower me." He gestured at the scar on his chest, the only real proof he had of the moment. "And now the poor dear thinks that I was being punished because I was being unfaithful to my Goddess, and no matter how much I explain what really happened and how that simply isn't true, she simply won't listen." He shook his head, holding his hands up helplessly. "Gods know I don't like to leave someone in a state like she is, but there is nothing I can do or say right now to actually make the situation better. The only thing I could think of was to make sure that there was someone else to care for her, and the list of people I trust to watch over Belle in this moment is limited to you."

@kel
@moon
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Shadowrun-Tabletop edition

158 Posts
8 Threads
Age:88
Job: "Travel Writer" (Smuggler)
Ship Status: Trying to date Belle
Sexual Orientation: Yes.
Moon

All Accounts Posts: 919
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#5
Queth may not have been close enough to catch Belle like Arjay had- but a quick swipe on the spell tattooed on her forearm had a cushion of air underneath the redhead. The tables seemed to have turned quite dramatically since Queth's first meeting with Arjay. Would she have not then been forced to leap forward to try and catch Belle? Would Arjay not have been more likely to cast a spell, instead of pushing his heart to it's limits?

It was a thought she could muse on later, after Belle was in better form. For the moment, Queth simply pushed the contemplating to the side of her mind, following Arjay and helping to shift Belle in her bed. Queth pulled the blankets over the prone form of her... girlfriend? Crush? Date? Making certain that she would be kept warm, despite any chill that would come from being clothed only in a robe.

She listened to Arjay's words. Not offering any comment on the value of his story until it completed. At which point she had already gone about making tea for when Belle woke, and getting together a few necessities. She even ran a bath in case Belle did feel... dirty. For her choices. Something that Queth thought truly unnecessary, but not something she would put past the sweet woman who had Queth's heart on a leash.

"Did you call me because I know both you and Belle? Or did you call me as living proof that your Goddess wasn't punishing you?" The taller elf queried softly, moving to sit on the edge of Belle's bed and making sure the redhead's hair was braided loosely- so that it would be out of the way, but wouldn't hurt her head.

Queth could have lost track of time, simply brushing the rough surface of her finger tips across the smooth petal soft skin of Belle's cheek and neck. She leaned forwards and pressed a brief kiss to the redhead's forehead, hoping to ease her mind, though Queth knew it wasn't that easy. Frag, how was she supposed to explain this to Belle anyways? Arjay said you needed help so I ran? I know that Sune didn't punish Arjay because I've also slept with him?

It had happened before Queth had ever gathered the courage to ask Belle out, but hell if she knew how to broach that topic. Having some idea of Belle's sexual history, Queth had already been worried enough about the day where they talked about Queth's- 80 years old or not, the number was a little too high for most people's comfort, let alone the beautiful innocent Queth was dating.

She abruptly realized how weird it would be for Belle to wake up to Queth so nearby, and she shuffled a chair over, taking Belle's hand in one of hers as she brought up a book to read while she waited.

@kel
@mike

(Btw Kel my at is moon not alex. Alex gets my channel, but moon actually tags me.)
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Dungeons and Dragons-Forgotten Realms

348 Posts
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Age:231
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Mike

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#6
Queth raised a good point, and Arjay wished that he could take credit for how well that worked. “In all honesty, that little fact hadn’t even occurred to me. I called you because I know that you love Belle and would stop at nothing to help her. Honestly, if someone had to do so by convincing her that I was a worthless stomp-around that wasn’t worth her time, I’d have accepted that as my due without complaint, so long as it really did help her. That you have some rather incontrovertible evidence that the situation wasn’t what she’s insisting is rather nice, yes, but all I was thinking was that I trusted you to help her and not take advantage of her in a vulnerable state.” He knew that Belle had other suiters than Queth, and possibly ones that she was more inclined toward (since he really didn’t get the impression that Belle was that into girls, although he’d been wrong before), but at least one of them he had reason to be suspicious of. The other ones possibly bore suspicion as well… but not Queth.

He peered down at Belle a moment, then sighed, remembering just how stubborn the woman was. Queth had the advantage of not being him in getting her to listen, but she was still going to need all the help she could get. So, reluctantly, he murmured a spell under his breath, aiming it at Queth. Then he picked up one of the glasses that Belle had brought out, pouring some water into it. He waved a hand over it and blew onto it, causing it to take on a shimmery golden color. “Drink that when she begins to wake,” he said. “If there were ever a person who would require some extra magic to help convince them the truth of the absolute truth, it’s this woman.”

He made a tired gesture, causing a magic doorway to begin to materialize in front of him. “Thank you, Queth. If you need anything…” He paused, forcing himself to admit that he was the problem here, not a possible part of a solution, as much as he might wish he could be. “You won’t need anything. You’ve got this, much better than I possibly could.” With that, the elf stepped through the conjured door, sending himself off through space and out of Belle’s home.

@kel
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DC- DC-TV-1

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#7
Belle was not feigning unconsciousness, her faint might have been more than half shock, but her over worked body decided that since she’d so thoughtfully decided to rest it would take advantage of the unusual state.

The skin under Queth’s finger tips was heated; Belle had apparently been nursing a small cold that also took advantage of her state to blossom into a fever.

The redhead stirred restlessly, mouth forming soundless words, slowly confused blue opened to the world.

@moon
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Shadowrun-Tabletop edition

158 Posts
8 Threads
Age:88
Job: "Travel Writer" (Smuggler)
Ship Status: Trying to date Belle
Sexual Orientation: Yes.
Moon

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#8
Queth appreciated the magic offers. She really did. But that wasn't how she wanted to ever speak with Belle. The elf would make things pretty, convenient, all kinds of fun- but she had promised herself early in her magic career that she would never use a spell to alter the perceptions of someone she cared for. Smiling at Arjay, she nodded at him, before he left the room. Then she took the glass of golden liquid and poured it down the drain, washing out the glass.

Pulling her own long curls up behind the sharp tips of her ears, into a messy bun, she disposed of her leather jacket, taking a moment to wash away the grease from her skin. Then she sat down and bit her thumb, swiping the blood onto the ritual markings on the inside of her coat. The circle lit up easily, though Queth sat cross legged in front of it until the light coalesced into a reasonable sized ball of light.

First the creature washed over Queth, taking away the enchantment that Arjay had placed there- with Queth's aid, neither able to overpower the godling magic on their own. Then it went on to find a set of warm flannel pajamas and pull them on to the sleeping beauty.

Getting up slowly, she wiped away the dash of blood and banished the spirit before it got up to any tricks.

The smuggler. The soldier. The doctor in training. The mechanic- Queth excelled at keeping herself busy. It was easy enough to get a wet cloth and lay it on Belle's forehead, to clean up the rest of the 'romantic' touches Sune had laid around, she even made an easy rice porridge while she waited for Belle to wait. As well as reading. Queth had made multitasking an art- one which couldn't be conveniently unlearned to avoid boredom.

She collected the cloth a bit later, washing it out with cold water before bringing it back again to wipe away any sweat on Belle's face.

So despite her best efforts, Queth was indeed sitting beside Belle, face directly above her when she woke up. Queth smiled softly. "Good morning, beautiful. You had me worried there. How do you feel?" She offered, deciding to start off easy, let Belle bridge any discussion of Arjay for now.

@kel
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DC- DC-TV-1

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#9
Belle took a deep breath, and it hurt. Her heart felt as though it was literally fractured in her chest and it took her a long moment to come to grips with a sensation she’d hoped to never feel again.

It was completely and utterly unfair to Queth, and Belle knew it even as she turned on her side away from the beautiful elf; but she couldn’t….she couldn’t right now. The red head curled away trying to hide from life, from her sins, from the things she could never have, shoulders shaking silently as her pillow got wetter and wetter.


@alex
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Shadowrun-Tabletop edition

158 Posts
8 Threads
Age:88
Job: "Travel Writer" (Smuggler)
Ship Status: Trying to date Belle
Sexual Orientation: Yes.
Moon

All Accounts Posts: 919
Points: 2,615.77€
#10
Maybe it was rude of Queth- to ignore such an obvious choice to shy away from the elf's touch. Despite that- she couldn't just let Belle lay there and cry. Not if she were just a friend, certainly not now that she was something more. So, Queth used her superior strength to pull Belle up into her arms, head tucked under her chin.

"Its okay, Belle. It's okay." The brunette murmured, one hand on the back of Belle's head, the other rubbing soothing circles on Belle's back. Queth idly wished she had thought to bring a drone over, to bring the tea and porridge she had made Belle closer.

Sighing, she put words to the thoughts that she hadn't planned on sharing without prompting. "You did nothing wrong, Belle. Arjay wasn't hurt because of you. I- ugh. Before the two of us started seeing each other, I spent a very passionate night with him. While his goddess was pregnant. She sent me a note the next day. Telling me off. For slouching so much. That was her take away was that I was beautiful and tall and how dare I slouch and ruin my perfect elegance and also these were some ways to improve my sexual performance." Queth grumbled, her traitorous cheeks burning red at the reminder.

Pulling Belle back, trying to make eye contact, Queth smiled at her. "This is not your fault. My only regret is that it's hurt you so."

@kel (and my tag is still moon. Not alex.)
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DC- DC-TV-1

396 Posts
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Age:30
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Kel

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#11
She was a horrible person. She knew this because her first instinct was to flail her fists weakly at Queths hold, dotting the taller woman’s chest with strikes that even if she’d meant them Queth wouldn’t likely feel. “You don’t-“

you don’t understand how horrible I am

How could Belle, especially in this state explain the vast differences in morals and upbringing that lead her to not believe but know to the depths of her heart that she’d knowingly blackened her very soul?

Queths presence here only highlighted that she truly was an irredeemable whore who tempted, seduced with out a care or thought for the people she was hurting with her actions.

“Go! Away!” She had to push Queth away, better to sever things completely now instead of dragging out the other woman’s pain. It was the only thing Belle could do.

@moon
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Shadowrun-Tabletop edition

158 Posts
8 Threads
Age:88
Job: "Travel Writer" (Smuggler)
Ship Status: Trying to date Belle
Sexual Orientation: Yes.
Moon

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Points: 2,615.77€
#12
Queth would argue until the sun finished kissing the skies goodnight and then some. Belle was in no way a horrible person. Let alone for trying to push her away when she had so obviously not consented to being held in the first place. Queth did feel the strikes, though only as a dull echo in her bones. Not important compared to the well-being of the person delivering them.

"I don't- what, Belle?" She asked idly. "I don't understand what it's like to make a mistake? I don't know how it feels to do something that makes you feel bad? I don't know what hurt looks or feels like? Because I assure you, I do." Queth murmured, stroking Belle's crimson locks as a means to calm her down.

It was interesting. For Queth- she hadn't been raised in the south. She had been raised in Portland. She hadn't been taught to be a good southern lady. But she had been raised religious.

It was just that her religion turned its back in her with such ferocity that Queth had done all she could to distance herself from it. She had melted down her cross, and had it recast as a simple ring with a stud on it. Well suited for punching someone in the face.

When Belle shouted again, Queth just wrapped her arms around her tighter, pressing Belle's head into her shoulder as she started to hum softly. It was some dumb song from the nineties, but Belle was already making it clear that she had no intention to listen just yet, so it didn't matter too much. "No." Queth stated simply before returning to her humming.

@kel
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DC- DC-TV-1

396 Posts
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#13
“Go!” She demanded, pushing Queth away - “Don’t you see?” Belle used all her strength to pull far enough away to gain breathing room -
“How everyone I love I hurt?” She didn’t care if it was Sune or Arjays own power that had backlashes onto him. Either way it was because of her.

Everything she was, everything she believed in, all it had gotten her was pain, all it caused was hurt to the people she loved the most.

Her love was doomed.

First her Ghost, and now the elf who’d become a god for the woman he loved, forever scared by a woman who selfishly tried to take what wasn’t hers to have.

It was her fault.

And now Queth was caught up in this mess, what had possessed Arjay to such cruelty Belle could only guess at, but the end result was that someone who said they loved her was being forced by those emotions to forgive and comfort her.

It was grotesque and a mockery of everything Belle had tried to be in life to hurt Queth like this.

Belle had known heartbreak, she’d been dragged down into despair, she’d been terrorized, believing she was going to die. But she had never once given up and wished for death,

In her own way Belle was undergoing the same crisis of soul that had scared Arjay, where her actions, had lead to a place that was dimeterically opposed to who she was, who she wanted to be as a person. And unlike Arjay she was no god to serve penance through a searing flash of painfilled reminders.

Belle for the first time in her life, in her despair looked at the ‘easy’ out and craved it.

@moon
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Shadowrun-Tabletop edition

158 Posts
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Age:88
Job: "Travel Writer" (Smuggler)
Ship Status: Trying to date Belle
Sexual Orientation: Yes.
Moon

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Points: 2,615.77€
#14
Queth just repeated her statement stoically. "No." She'd say it again and again if she had to. However many times it took to drive into Belle's head. She wasn't just going to go. Not when Belle was hurting. "Belle. Arjay hurt himself, it wasn't you. As for me, I'm not hurt. Maybe there's something messed up in me, and I'm understanding when I should be upset, but Belle, I'm ninety years old. Being fully honest, it has occurred to me at least once that maybe you should hook up with Arjay, because he's someone I truly trust to make sure that you enjoyed every moment of your first time." She offered, not entirely certain how many of her words would get through to Belle. Still, Queth would try.

She stroked Belle's back, rubbing soothing circles as she went. "Belle, this relationship between us- I went into it with my eyes open. I know you have men who you're also seeing. You haven't promised me anything. I'm sorry that you're hurt, but even if this romance between us turns into nothing- you're still my friend, and that is what matters most right now." She continued, pulling the whole of Belle into Queth's lap, wrapping her up in warmth.

She didn't know what to do to make things better. Frag, Queth didn't know if she could make things better. She did know however- that no matter what, she would try. Belle was worth so much more than just that. And she didn't deserve this pain, in any way shape or form.

"Would me telling you about my history of romantic mistakes make you feel better? I've screwed up some relationships royally. Way, way worse than anything you did today. Because you know, Arjay? He's going to go face himself, and he'll be upset with himself, but he has nothing to blame you for. He was a willing participant. It might be awkward when you speak to him next, but only if you let it. Sune? She'll be annoyed at Arjay. Not for cheating on her, but for hurting you. Belle-" Queth sucked in a breath, knowing that she might be about to tell a secret Belle shouldn't have known. "- She put a blessing on you. Anyone with sufficient magical skill can feel it. She wants you to be happy- and based on the fact that she asked me for a threesome with Arjay- I'm fairly confident she'd be okay with you finding some measure of happiness with Arjay." She offered, more uncomfortable than ever, knowing that she was babbling. Queth didn't generally babble. But she had no other clue how to go about handling this situation. She certainly didn't think that she was going to make Belle feel better by not talking.

@kel
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#15
‘Blessed -‘

Belle laughed curling into her side, body shaking with the violence of it -“‘God of unhealthy love, God of what scars the heart, God of corrupting love that tears all around it down-‘“ belle flipped onto her back reciting the list, hand thrown over eyes that stared sightlessly at the ceiling - “oh she blessed me!” Belle was losing herself, her hold on what was ok on what was real but how could you blame her? She wasn’t a super hero, cyborg shaman or god! She wasn’t even a magician like Chistrian!

“Beauty.” She moved suddenly across the room hand closing around heavy sewing shears - “Can’t -“ her hand raised the point staring at the same mirror she, every morning spent so much time ‘putting on her face-‘ “be beautiful-“ her hand moved to slice the pointed tip over her cheek.

Some part of her knew it was an insane overreaction, but all she could see, all she could hear, was the pain her actions caused.

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Shadowrun-Tabletop edition

158 Posts
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Age:88
Job: "Travel Writer" (Smuggler)
Ship Status: Trying to date Belle
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Moon

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#16
Queth was content to let Belle have her rant. Let her run out of steam before she started disputing her statements. Queth just held her tongue and took a deep breath before finally opening her mouth to reply. She wanted to tell Belle that she wasn't completely right. That Sune was the Goddess of good love too. That a blessing was a wonderful thing to have, even gods of bad things usually give blessings of good things.

Yet before a word of that was out of her mouth, Belle was out of her arms and charging across the room. Queth was confused for just long enough for the scissors to be raised to Belle's cheek.

She didn't think then. Didn't try and puzzle out her motivations. Didn't try to argue or talk her down from the ledge. Queth just ran the numbers in her head, saw that she wouldn't be able to get there in time to stop Belle- and threw as strong a spell she could from the well of magic in her chest. "IMAR DELARA!" Queth shouted, the words twisting her lips as she flung them across the room. Be Serene indeed, as the spell stripped Belle of her ability to move.

It hurt like a bitch. Felt like she had been hit by a truck, and she was barely able to keep her balance as she stood up. Still, she didn't risk it and walked over, taking the scissors from Belle's frozen hand. She threw them away, out the damn window. She didn't give a damn right now, if they were special, if they had meaning. She'd rescue them later. For now- all that mattered was that Belle was taken away from them.

Queth wiped at the stressed tears rolling down her face, unsurprised to see them red. She imagined her nose was bleeding too. Once she had both of Belle's hands tightly in one of hers, Queth took a cloth from her pocket to wipe away the worst of the blood. Taking a deep breath, she dropped the magic on Belle, now that her automatic fury was dissolving. Queth swallowed hard to clear her mouth of blood, murmuring a spell to start her healing, before she looked Belle in the eyes.

"Do you think so little of the people who want to be with you? Do you think that bullshit about me? Do you honestly believe we'd love you less if you had a scar?" With her free hand, she pulled up her shirt. "News flash- I have tons. Do you think it would make us happy to see you hurt? Well, I've slept with Arjay too. Would you be happy to see me hurt?!" She sighed and closed her eyes, letting the anger cool back down rather than build. "If this is about makeup- Belle, I've shared hotel rooms with you. I know what you look like without makeup. You're still you. Still beautiful. You've seen me pop my eye out, take half of my face off- and you've never treated me like less because of it. If you want to stop wearing makeup- go for it. I don't know the others you're dating- but at least personally? I like how you look. You're gorgeous and wonderful and the woman of my dreams. And you'd still be the most wonderful being of my dreams even if you were faceless and formless, and because of how I feel, I'd damn well think you gorgeous then too."

She sucked in a deep breath, real tears rolling down her cheeks now. "It just hurts to see you in pain, Belle. I couldn't give a single fuck that you nearly slept with Arjay. What makes me sad is that you are upset. That's the only thing I wish I could change and damnit Belle, I'd do anything to make you smile." Queth croaked, her voice rough from emotion. And also possibly the blood in her throat. Or the fact that her skin was internally knitting back together.

@kel
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#17
Sune called her ‘Beauty’ somehow in her despairing mind it only made sense that the woman was like the old Greek Gods; every blessing was a curse, every gift a poison fruit. Otherwise -

Other wise it was her.

Belle’s mind rolled, rebelling, revolting; revulsion ran rampant, ravaging reason.

What other cause could there be for the urges flowing through her? Belle wanted to hurt herself, wanted the outside to match the bleeding inside.

‘IMAR DELARA!!’

The shout took her will, her agency, took her last refuge of action.

Angry, hate filled words lept to her lips -

Blood

Queath was bleeding.

Not a little bit.

Tears of the red stuff slipped down her cheeks, down over her lips from a nose showing the price for magic -

Belle didn’t see the ring at her breast pulse easily breaking the spell, thinking Queth banished it -

“Oh honey no-“ she whispered hand reaching up, bile built at the back of her throat as her thumb swiped away a streak of blood -

i did This-IdidthisIdidthis-

She hurt everyone who loved her.

‘Woman of my dreams-‘

“Nightmare.” She corrected through clouded eyes and numb lips.

“I don’t deserve any of you. All I can do is hurt. All I love is pain!” She screamed, body literally shaking from the stress her emotions placed on her still human frame. “I can’t - I can’t -“ she couldn’t breathe, lungs tried to expand and nothing came, she was drowning on dry land.

In other words she was having a panic attack while someone who loved her, bled for her was *still* healing.

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#18
Queth didn't know Sune well. Had no reason to trust her really. It was only a passing meeting that even had her aware of the goddess in a more than theoretical sense. She did, however, know Arjay. And she trusted him. With her soul.

She liked to think that trust went both ways- but what it meant here was simple. Queth trusted Arjay. And Arjay trusted Sune. It was enough for her to trust that the woman wouldn't curse Belle- someone who Arjay had also been proven to care for.

She knew the feeling of wanting to hurt yourself all too well though. She couldn't count how many surgical procedures she had elected to be awake through. It hurt. Half the point of it, really. That for just a moment, you could lose the emotional hurt in the physical pain.

Queth expected Belle to scream at her. She didn't care. If it meant that Belle channeled her anger outwards instead of inward- Queth would shoulder that burden for as long as Belle needed her to. When her hands went up to wipe away blood instead, Queth sucked in a breath of surprise.

And a lot of that came from the fact that she hadn't intentionally cut the spell yet. Belle shouldn't have been able to move. It was... Troubling. Something for Queth to figure out later.

With a deep sigh, she took Belle's free hand in her own, pressing a kiss to the palm of it before she paired the two lovely and calloused palms of her sweetheart back in her lap. When Belle interrupted her words, Queth shook her head. "Woman of my dreams. Belle- I know nightmares. You are not one."

The elf wished she were less intimately acquainted with panic attacks too. As it was, her mind was running over the automatic responses to it before she had emotionally processed what was happening. Her hands slid from Belle's hands to her shoulders, gently pushing her to sit straight and open her lungs up to fill properly. "Belle." She started, voice soft and even, cleaning her skin with a spell she had picked up from Arjay, so that when Belle looked the smuggler in the eyes again, she wouldn't see any blood.

"Belle. Listen to me. Focus on my voice." She offered, patiently trying to make eye contact. She paused before she took Belle's hand again, placing it on the smuggler's scarred chest. "Feel my lungs expand. And Contract. Deep breath in. Slow breath out. Breathe with me." She continued, simply breathing in and out for a moment, until Belle's own air intake evened out.

Once she was certain that Belle could hear Queth over her panic, she continued. "I can't tell you that everyone will be as understanding- I won't lie to you. But neither me nor Arjay feel that way about you. You have given us both so much. This moment does not define you. One mistake does not change everything else you have done." If Queth were more brave, she'd pull Belle into her arms again. Instead she sat there, holding Belle's hand on her chest, afraid that she would only make things worse if she touched her anymore.

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#19
Belle was broken, the heart of her splinted by time and good companionship shattered that night.

James.
Gone.
Arjay.
Scarred.
Queth.
Bleeding.

All for love of her.

Tears slipped unendingly from too wide eyes over a face gone numb to anything but cold; cold. She was so so cold -

Belle shook, violent tremors taking her frame, echoing physically the very real splitting in her heart.

She couldn’t obey Queth, head shaking back and forth spasmodically, chest heaving frantically, uselessly -

No one was hearing her.

No one wanted to believe her.

No one wanted to see the truth.

Belle was just a human, but somewhere in the way the universe worked; gods, magic, fate, ghosts - She was an albatross, hanging around the necks of those she loved the most.

Stay with your own kind.
Ya’ aint one of em
Girl like you got no place here.


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#20
Queth wanted to laugh. Bitter as it possibly could be. Belle thought she had hurt people? Queth bled for money. Her bleeding was nothing new. Arjay was going to end up cursed one day, with or without Belle's help. As for James- Well Queth didn't know him well enough to be certain, but if he left because of Belle, then he wasn't worth her time.

It wasn't like Queth was doing much better anyways. Her first sweetheart since she had broken off her engagement- and here she was, crying, unable to breathe, ready to hurt herself, because Queth wasn't helping enough.

Queth gave into the desperate need she felt to make things better in any way. She pulled Belle tightly into her arms, kissing her forehead and the top of her head, filled with worry. "Belle. Please. Just breathe with me."

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