Eye of newt and knuckle of brass

There were some days that Jax thought he needed a new career. He could do something quieter, something more peaceful. He could change his ways for good, never even think about the things he was trying to leave behind, what he'd tried to change from, what that said about him.

Then, there were days when some jackass started shit at work and left him favoring one arm, got him shouted at by Jaya, and left the girls shaken up before he was thrown bodily from the door. Those days, Jax remembered exactly why he was an outlaw and that he knew how to handle situations like that. Granted... those jackasses being not precisely human presented some interesting problems, like how you effectively dealt with someone whose skin was more or less stone. Thus Jax was in a fairly aggravated mood as he browsed through the little potion shop, figuring that it was time to see what exactly the Hub had to offer him in ways to start causing more mayhem on people than he could normally.

"Hello?" he called, browsing through the bottles he could see. Somehow, he didn't think that a potion that made people float up into the air would help him with his current aims. There had to be a more... potent section of the store right?

@katie

Ophelia was enjoying her time in the Hub, learning about forms of magic she'd never dreamed existed, and finding new and wonderful applications for spells and charms and potions that she had already known.

Not to mention getting to meet all sorts of interesting people. So when she heard a voice calling from the front of the shop, Ophelia whispered a charm that would keep the potion from burning while she was otherwise occupied, and headed for the front of the shop.

"Yes, how can I help you?" she asked the man, brushing a tendril of hair back and behind an ear, and leaving a smudge of soot on her face in the process.

@arjay

Wait, will this REALLY make me turn green? Nevermind, not important.

Jax put down the bottle he was looking at, looking up at the shop worker as she came in, and immediately decided that he had to find a much more polite way of saying that he needed something that would help him murder the fuck out of someone. Not that you could always tell, she looked like she might have a dark side, but chances were, she was more on the side of "that's something that's frowned upon." He'd wait until he'd felt things out more before he asked for something that would make someone shrivel up and dissolve or something like that.

He shot her his best 'Nothing to worry about here except maybe your panties' smile. "Hi there," he said, turning to the counter. "Sorry, don't really know the products, I was hoping you could help me with that. I'm looking for a potion." He glanced around, giving a little conciliatory shrug. "Obviously. Maybe something... Oh, I don't know, something for personal enhancement?" This was magic, after all. Maybe there was a potion that could turn HIS skin to stone, or maybe make his skin burn.

@katie

Ophelia smiled back, blushing a little as she did so. He was rather attractive, and she hadn't been any more successful at romance in the Hub than she'd been at home. The closest she'd come was a bit of flirting with her landlord, flirting that she'd stopped when she'd found out that he was involved with an actual deity. Perhaps.....

That thought was interrupted by his next question. He seemed rather young and fit to be having any of those sorts of problems, but it just went to show that you never could know for certain. Since those sorts of "male problems" were rather common, especially for older wizards, there were a number of potions that she had on hand. And in the time she'd been in the Hub, she'd gotten used to dealing with the public, and handling requests like the one that this man had made with discretion and tact.

"Ah, I see." she replied "We have several options, depending on what kind of enhancement you need. If the issue is achieving and maintaining a state of....excitement, there are several potions that our customers have found offer complete satisfaction. Some are meant to be taken just before they are needed, others need to be taken regularly, but offer more flexibility. Which you might prefer depends on your personal needs of course. Now, if the issue is endurance, there is only one thing currently in stock, but I highly reccommed it." she smiled, trying to look modest as she added "its my own formula, and I'm quite pleased to say that its been working remarkably well. Now..." Ophelia hesitated a bit, since this possibility was rather delicate "If the issue is one regarding your personal physical attributes....there are potions that can help with that area as well. Several options, depending on what your particular needs are and, well, exactly what we have to start with, if you take my meaning."

@arjay

And the day just kept getting better. He nodded as she went through the options. Excitement? What, like magic adrenaline? That seemed to have promise, but it could also make him lose it when he didn’t want to, and that was a bad idea. Besides… he never had a problem in a fight. “I’ll remember that, but I don’t think it’s what I need,” he admitted, letting her move along. Endurance? Oh, and it was hers? Now that, he ought to pay attention to. If nothing else, he ought to give some lip service to her being good at her job, right? “Oh? Well, that might help a little. Tell me more about it, how does it work? I always like to go right to the source when I see something good.” Again, there was that smile…

The last option, though? Okay, that sounded a lot more promising. “All right, let’s talk about that one,” he said. “That sounds like it’d always be a good one to have around. And… well, you can see what we’re working with, right?” He shrugged, spreading his arms, as if to say ‘take a look.’ “But for specific… hm. All right, let’s say that the other guy is a lot bigger than me, and made of something… tough. Is there anything that’d make sure I could still walk after it was all over?”

@katie

"Well, the exact details of how it works aren't something that I want to reveal." Ophelia replied, deciding that 'trade secret' was a better way to present it rather than saying that she doubted he had the understanding of magical theory to follow her explanation of how it worked. "As I said, it is my own proprietary formula. The important bit is that it helps you keep things going for, well, as long as a reasonable person would wish, and does so without any loss of sensation that might make the proceedings less....intense, so to say."

Ophelia answered his smile with one of her own, although as he spoke her smile became more professional. Well, that was her luck, wasn't it. An attractive man walked into her shop, and not only did he have problems of an intimate nature, but he enjoyed the company of other men. Very large men, from the sound of it. "Many men do find it useful, yes." she said diplomatically. In her experience most of the ones who were discontented with their equipment were fussing over nothing, but there were exceptions. Like this man, apparently. Except that his issues were apparently with well, other parts than the ones that most men were concerned about. Which made sense, now that she thought about it, having problems with lasting long enough would mean that he'd likely spend a lot of time on the bottom, based on what little she knew about such things. Of course, that also meant that most of the potions she'd been thinking of suggesting wouldn't be quite what he needed "In that case, I think that a slightly different group of potions might be more what you'd want. Just changing your size won't do much. I know its a rather personal question, but are you more concerned with your condition afterwards, or is it more a matter of what happens during the encounter?"

Jax waved a hand. “I wouldn’t understand how it worked anyway,” he admitted. “I just need to know what it’ll do. I don’t know, though… loss of sensation might be good.” He mulled that over as he studied the bottle. How many beatings had he taken where he could have won if it hadn’t hurt so goddamn bad? But then again, if it didn’t hurt, he might not stop before he got himself killed. Was that a real thing that could happen? “Maybe not though,” he decided. Yeah, she probably knew best on this one.

Her question made him frown a little as he thought about it. Being bigger wouldn’t be better? That… well, he guessed that she would know, she was the one who made the things, wasn’t she? “I think both of them are pretty important,” he said. “I mean… if something can help me get it done faster, that’s less damage on me, right?” He looked at the potions she was indicating, but of course they meant absofuckinglutely nothing to him. “I guess I just don’t know what the options are. I guess… huh. Do you have something that can do spikes?” That would be epic now that he thought about it. He could do more damage, and if they hit him back, it’d just hurt them more. It might be hard on the clothes, but… well, he could manage that, a fight could ruin his outfit anyway.

@katie

"Personally, I've always thought that simply taking away sensation lacks....finesse." Ophelia replied "Certainly it works, but" she shrugged "If you'd like something that will simply reduce sensitivity, I have a few potions that would take care of that." she was, after all, perfectly willing to sell a customer whatever he wanted, regardless of what she personally thought of it. And no matter what, the potion would be well crafted and without unwanted side effects, both she and Fizzle knew their craft.

Ophelia cocked her head slightly and said "Forgive me, I think I misunderstood. I thought that one of the things that you wanted to avoid was ending things too quickly. Or is it that sometimes you wish to prolong an encounter, and other times you just want it to be done as rapidly as possible?" the latter didn't seem like a very enjoyable way to engage in such things, but perhaps he enjoyed different things...And then he asked about spikes. Which was well...she wasn't going to judge, certainly, and obviously it wasn't anything that was ever going to involve her but still...spikes were a great deal more intense than anything she'd ever even begun to contemplate for her own bedroom activities. "Spikes." she repeated thoughtfully "Let me see...yes, I think that I do have a potion that would allow you to produce spikes." a little hesitantly she continued "If I might ask, where would you like the spikes to appear?" They might be for his partner's enjoyment, although that hardly seemed enjoyable to her. "And how large would you like them to be." Maybe he was thinking of something small, and slightly prickly, and not large spikes. Unless the spikes were....oh dear.
@arjay

“Well, I want to be able to keep going, for sure,” he said. You don’t want to go down too easy, right? One punch and being out? Hell no. “But if I can finish him off faster, that’s just less pain to deal with. I’m not looking to prolong anything, I just need to take care of business and come out on top.”

And now she wanted him to figure out spikes, huh? Well, at least it was possible. All right, what would be best? “Well, on my hands, for sure,” he said. “I guess… the backs. I guess I want to stay away from anyplace where I might accidentally stab myself. So… chest, back, maybe face?” He pinched his skin, trying to get a good idea about how long the things would need to be. Part of him wanted to say ‘as big as possible,’ but that was overkill. Skin only seemed to be about an eighth of an inch thick. If he really wanted to do some damage with spikes, they didn’t need to be a foot long. “Maybe just an inch long? I guess that all depends, how strong would they be? Are we talking just spikey enough to hurt, or could they actually pierce through skin all the way? Because… huh. Maybe two inches if they could do that.”

@katie

Not that she was going to be one to judge.....after all, it did take all kinds to make a world but it rather sounded as though he didn't especially enjoy things. Of course, that was understandable, if not being able to last as long as he'd like, ah yes, that must be it. Still, the way he'd called it business...and there was a fair amount of that in the Hub, since sometimes that was the only thing a person might have to offer in trade...."Ah yes, I see. If you don't mind the question-are you looking for assistance with, um, encounters that you're engaging in for your own pleasure, or is this more along the lines of a professional sort of thing? It makes no difference to me either way, I'm asking just because it might help me guide you to something that will provide the most complete satisfaction."

Ophelia tried not to show her relief at finding out that he at least wasn't planning on inserting the spikes anywhere sensitive, although that relief was somewhat tempered by the fact that he was apparently interested in puncturing the skin of the people who he was having intimate relations with. Not that she was one to judge, but that sounded rather extreme and she wasn't entirely sure that she was comfortable with helping him inflict that kind of damage, even if it was done with the other party's consent. "Any or all of those locations would be quite possible." she said after a moment to collect her thoughts "One inch ought to be enough to puncture skin, at least if the other person is a human, or at least has skin close to what is usual. If you do decide to go with the spikes, might I suggest also purchasing some healing potions as well. I know that the spikes sound like they'd be quite enjoyable, but sometimes things have, that is to say, it might be best to be prepared, in case of" she waved a hand "the damage being more severe than you anticipate. Of course, that is just a suggestion."

@arjay

Business or pleasure? Well, Jax would be lying if he said that he never enjoyed getting into a fight. On the other hand, it wasn’t like he went out looking for them, either. “Business,” he decided. “I wouldn’t really go doing this for fun.” Well, not anymore, at least. He still wanted to be a better guy, even if he wasn’t good at it. “Does it really matter? I mean… it’s all the same thing in the end. A guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do.”

He was, all in all, glad he’d decided to see what magic had to offer. The possibilities seemed endless, and really: It was magic. How cool was that? He could tell, though, when someone was trying to upsell him to add a few more dollars to their wallet. He couldn’t’ blame her, but that didn’t mean he had to play along. “If I end up using spikes, then any damage they get is their fault. They can buy their own damn healing potions, I really don’t care. They’re the ones bringing this on.” It was harsh, of course, but it was true. He’d had no problem killing people before, he had no issues at all inflicting some lasting damage on them if he needed to.

@katie

Well, he wouldn't be the first person in the Hub who'd found that selling their flesh was the easiest way to survive. She certainly didn't judge him for that, although it did seem more that a little unfortunate that he was doing so when his interest in men was purely financial. And that was something that should be taken into consideration. "No, not really." Ophelia said reassuringly. "Its more that if you're doing things for business, rather than pleasure it affects which potions I would suggest to you. For example, I would assume that something that focuses on your physical, rather than mental state might be more welcome, when it comes to your performance issues." Yes, she could give him a potion that would make him temporarily more receptive, but that might not be a good thing, once the affects of the potion had past. "And since it is strictly business, and the goal is just to, um, finish the other guy as quickly as possible, there are things that could do that that don't have to go into your system at all." For that matter, she knew a couple of charms that, combined with a potion would cause someone to have dreams so vivid that they'd wake up prepared to swear they'd spent the night before engaged in marathon sex, but that wasn't something that she was interested in selling. While she wasn't going to judge others, she would rather keep her intimate life wholly noncommercial.

"I suppose I can see your point." Ophelia replied, although part of her did feel a twinge of sympathy at the idea of him being physically intimate with men who's welfare he clearly didn't care about. And who were presumably equally indifferent to his well being. "So, spikes." she said, turning around and pulling down a bottle. "I think that this one will be your best option. Well, he wouldn't be the first person in the Hub to decide that selling himself was the easiest way to survive. Still, there was something about the way he said it, especially since he apparently wasn't spending time with men because he enjoyed that that well, it wasn't something that she'd consider especially commendable. But he was there to buy potions, not get advice on his, um, career choice. "Oh no, of course not!" she agreed, perhaps a touch too enthusiastically "I was just wondering, since that might change what be the right thing for you to use." a thought occurred to her and she continued "For example, if the difficulties with endurance are, shall we say, mental rather than physical in nature, that would suggest that it might be best to go along with something that will focus on your body, but won't affect your mood." and if he truly wasn't interested in men, something that would increase his desire or interest might be unwelcome "And if the goal is simply to, um, drop thSimply rub it on to the location that you want to develop spikes. The top of the bottle doubles as an applicator. The spikes will appear in two to three minutes, and then last for approximately an hour. Will that suit you?"

Heh… yeah, there certainly were things that didn’t have to go into his system, Jax knew that well enough. They were called “guns.” Unfortunately, people tended to frown upon murder here, just like everywhere, and he was trying to not go with the more permanent solutions, so that wasn’t what he was looking for. Besides… he already had guns. Guns weren’t an issue, doing this without killing anyone was the issue, unfortunately. “Performing isn’t really the problem,” he said, taking a little issue with her wording. She made it sound like he was having problems in bed or something. “Dealing with some of the crazy things you meet here that can rip through me like a tissue is the problem.”

He looked at the potion bottle, frowning a little as he thought about it. Two to three minutes wasn’t great, all in all. If someone was going to start shit, usually he got very little warning. On the other hand, it was better than nothing, wasn’t it? “Nice design,” he said, looking at the applicator top. “I don’t suppose you have anything faster-acting? I don’t really get a lot of time to prepare when things are going down.” He looked at the bottle again, then pointed at it. “You mind if I give it a little try? That’s the best way to see if it’ll work, I think.”
 
@katie

Ophelia tried hard to suppress a frown as he spoke, and when she did reply, did her best to keep any hint of pity out of her voice. It wasn't her place to judge, and clearly this man had made some sort of peace with what he was doing to keep himself fed and clothed. Still, it wasn't pleasant to think about......"Are you certain you aren't interested in healing potions?" she asked, doing her best to keep her tone business-like, as though she was trying to upsell him, and not like she was trying to save him from the painful internal injuries-to say nothing of the external ones that he must suffer in his line of work. "And yes, I do understand that your clients are very large and very strong. The difficulty is that things that will make your skin stronger, for example, will also decrease flexibility and elasticity, which will make it more difficult when it comes time for....things to move to the final phase. Of course, I might be mistaken-if the um, penetration happens first, then there might be other options. I'm sorry" she said awkwardly "I don't know much about the....about how it works for men in your line of work, especially the ones who specialize in, um, rather sharper forms of this kind of enjoyment."

"Please, feel free to test it out." Ophelia said, glad to let the subject change "That is the tester bottle. And yes, the top is rather clever, isn't it. My aunt's design. Um, well, spikes were just the first suggestion. There are other options, but those are things that would have to be taken continuously for the best effect. And most of those won't be quite as flashy. Um, is two or three minutes really that long? I mean, I do understand that sometimes people do like to get down to business as rapidly as possible, but surely they must give you some time to prepare. " hesitantly she added "I apologize for intruding on such a personal matter, but surely....there are people from so many worlds here, surely you can find a few who would have some care for your physical welfare."

@mike

Again with the healing potions. Jesus, if he got hurt, he’d buy some. He didn’t even know how much this one cost, now, did he? He wondered if business had been suffering the way she kept trying to rope him in for healing stuff. “My clients? What are you talking about, they’re not big and strong. I mean, they can usually take care of themselves, but they wouldn’t need me if they could take care of everything.” Still, he listened to what she said… and damn, that made some sense, now, didn’t it? Those guys with the stone skin… well, if he could get a crack in them, they’d probably be in trouble. He really wished she’d just say ‘the shooting,’ of course… ‘penetration’ just sounded wrong, but hey.

He rubbed the potion on his skin, waiting to see it take effect. “I wouldn’t say two minutes is long, but if someone comes and picks a fight, usually they’re doing it now, not giving me two minutes to get ready for it. It’s not that smart to let the guy who’s supposed to throw you out take his magic spike-potion and let it start working before you try to cave his head in, right?” He watched, curious, as he waited for the spike to start growing from his hand. “And my people care about me. It’s the people trying to start trouble with them that want to see my insides on the outside.”

@katie

Ophelia blinked in confusion. She knew that some people enjoyed the act of observing others, but she had always assumed it was a niche market. On the other hand, the Hub ensured that they had access to a thousand million worlds, so clearly there were enough people to make it profitable. "I apologize if I used the wrong word. I just assumed that you'd been hired by the people you were, um, intimate with, not that someone else had hired you to, that is, that you were being hired to put on a show. But regardless" she waved her hand dismissively "what is relevant here is the way that your body will um, interact with the bodies of the people who you are with in, um, that way."

As Jax continued speaking Ophelia grew more and more confused, and then it hit her that he was talking about people he was beating up, not people he was having sex with. Instantly, her cheeks flushed red and she looked down at the counter, wanting to sink through the floor in shame. Both because of the humiliatingly wrong conclusion she'd jumped to, and because of the small corner of her mind that was slightly disappointed that she wasn't going to have the chance to offer him a more congenial employment . "Oh, you're talking about what might happen during a fight." she muttered. "I, please excuse me, I misunderstood. Um, please feel free to try the spike potion while i look for a few things that would be um, more useful in a fight."

@arjay

What the actual fuck?

Okay, the girl was a little odd, that was true enough, and she seemed to be weird about getting too specific about wording, which Jax was okay with. Some people just couldn’t handle violence, that was all right. But that part at the end? “Wait, these are your fight potions?” What the hell had she thought he was talking about if not that? He frowned, looking at the potion he was holding and letting his eyes go to all the other potions she’d recommended. “If these aren’t your fight potions, what are they?” But the girl had hurried off. Damn. Granted, her hurrying away gave him something to look at. He might hate her going, but anyone would love watching it happen.

Jax just kept watching the spike growing on his hand while he waited, trying to figure out what she’d really been talking about. With all that ‘penetration’ talk, it almost sounded like she was talking about sex, but that was just ridiculous, he thought with a chuckle.

@katie

Ophelia hurried to the store room, ignoring the question about what sorts of potions she'd been offering him, in an effort to avoid further embarrassment. She gathered up a selection of useful potions (most of which were also near to the counter, but then a lack of stock had not been the reason why she'd taken the opportunity to flee) as well as a few enchanted items that might be useful, and went back to the counter, her composure recovered.

"I think that these will interest you." Ophelia said, setting down a selection of vials on the counter, along with a pouch, which hit the counter with a heavy chink. "This one" she continued, pointing to the first vial "Will turn your skin into stone. Its quite fast acting, it takes effect as soon as you swallow it. How useful it is rather depends on who you are fighting with, of course" she smiled slightly "there are things in the Hub who can crack through granite with a blow, but this should help with most of the beings who you are likely to encounter."

She gave him time to consider the potion, and then moved on, her tone pleasant, professional, doing her best to focus on the work, on selling the potion, and doing her best to keep talking, so that he wouldn't have time to change the subject to the question of what she'd been trying to sell him before "This one is a healing potion, of sorts. It allows you to heal any damage dealt to you almost instantly. It will still hurt, but you'll be able to keep going no matter what. It only has a brief duration, but also takes effect immediately, and from my experience, a quarter hour is longer than most physical fights last." even the Battle of Hogwarts had lasted only an hour, and it was unlikely he'd be facing anything like that. "and this one, which will give you a general boost to speed, strength and courage. It won't augment your abilities, but it will make sure that you're functioning at peak capacity, even if you're tired or ill." she indicated the vials "I have multiples of all of these potions, and I think you'll find the prices quite reasonable. There are other things that I can offer, invisibility and so on, but these are the ones that are most straightforwardly useful in combat."

Ophelia opened the pouch, and let a heavy silver ring, sized for a large man's hand, fall onto the counter "I got the idea for this from an American wizard who was traveling through here awhile ago, although I added a few of my own refinements to..." she smiled and shook her head a bit "the details of that don't matter, but in any case, the ring has a charm on it that allows it to store up kinetic energy. As you move around it will store up power, and when you say the proper word, you can release all of that energy to give some extra power to a punch. Only from the hand that is wearing the ring, of course. It can take some time to recharge, but it could be a useful thing, in the right circumstances." she looked at him expectantly, hoping that he'd make his choices, pay and leave.