[April Fools] Let's Get Dangerous

What in all the fuck?

Normally, Clint was a pretty laid back, easy going guy. He split his time between Phil and his little archery lanes he’d built for himself out in a quiet stretch of land that wasn’t being used before. There, he’d met an honest to goodness gunslinger amongst others, and he was having the time of his damned life playing Avenger and boyfriend. A very loving, attentive, and not-in-the-closet boyfriend. It was awesome.

Since coming to Hub, Clint had seen some strange stuff, but suddenly being taken from Hub to some random universe was a new one on him. And on everyone else he could see in his peripherals, too it would seem. For one solid second, he had a moment of panic, feeling his belly clench up, the ground drop out beneath him, and sweat break out at his brow as he looked up from the bit of paper in his hands. What the hell did a clown have to do with getting home, he didn’t know, but that wasn’t the important thing right now. Not at all.

He set eyes on Phil, just a few feet away from him, and his shoulders relaxed. Clint dropped into the easy mission-ready stance he usually took when things weren’t certain. He had Phil, they’d be fine. Everything would be fine. Looking around, he saw… Tony? Young Tony, that was for sure, a dark hair girl he half recognized, maybe from Hub, but maybe from back home, too? And some other dude he didn’t know.

“So,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and cracking his neck, “I apparently gotta find a fucking clown to get back to Hub. Wherever that is. And…” He arched a brow, looking at the city that was laid out around them, and more importantly, the citizens of the world, his lips curling downward into a frown, “Anyone know this world? ‘Cause I sure don’t.”



Tag:
Kai, Chris, Castiel, Phil

Things had been going very well for Phil Coulson. Truthfully, he was having the time of his life-going to all sorts of places, getting to fight the good fight, and best of all, he was doing it alongside Clint. There was nothing he liked better than being in the field with his boyfriend. Liked that everyone knew that Clint was his boyfriend.

The last time things had been going this well for Phil he'd ended up stabbed in the heart by a deity, so it wasn't really surprising that things would go sideways just as he was picking up his pistol case to head to the range that he favored.

On the other hand, Phil reflected as he looked around, things could have been worse. Because he did have his pistol and a couple of boxes of ammo with him, and he was here with Clint. Even if the thing that he needed to find was "A pepper mill? Seriously?" he said to the world at large, even as he put a comforting hand on Clint's shoulder.

One moment, Christian was working on Jonah, finishing the installation of one of the new little additions he’d made for him using the (rather ugly) green sphere he’d found on the dying planet where he’d gone to rescue Belle when she’d been kidnapped, intent on letting the little vacuum fly, and the next he and the roomba were on another world, his satchel, which contained the little sphere, a few more things he had made, and his toolkit (along with a bunch of other things he used regularly) thankfully at his side, held by a strap that slung over his shoulders.

Putting the screwdriver away even before he looked to see who else was here with him, Christian realized that between the handle he’d been holding and his palm was wedged a little piece of paper. “Huh.” A brown feather? What use would that be? The paper (parchment, his mind corrected itself, there was a difference in the smoothness and construction) itself wasn’t magical, but Chris knew that whatever had brought him to this new world, that had been magic. Powerful magic. It was enough to force Christian’s head back up and look, really look, at the people around him, frowning. He didn’t know the man in the well-tailored suit, but he would recognize Hawkeye anywhere, even without the trademark black and purple costume. The man held a dark black and purple bow, and wore a whole quiver full of arrows, and that was telling enough, wasn’t it? Still, Chris had met enough famous people and heroes in Hub that he didn’t just start babbling incessantly or bouncing up and down; that wasn’t something that usually went over very well anyway, but instead he offered the pair a small smile, “Hi,” he offered his hand first to the man in the suit, who looked to be pretty reasonable, “I’m Chris. You two got the strange papers and come from Hub, too?”

He really, really hoped so.

He kept looking, as though looking for something, or someone, in particular, his face falling further and further into distress and panic as he didn’t find what he was looking for. Neither person he was looking for were here. “Safi?? Belle?” A tremor ran through the magician, realizing that he was trapped, alone (or at least, with only strangers) on a world he didn’t know, with no way home, because he sure as hell didn’t see a portal anywhere nearby. One last name escaped him, no longer even as hopeful as the first two had been, “Steve?”

When none of his friends, none of the familiar faces that he depended on materialized, no known and comforting voices called back to him, Chris began to shiver. This was bad. Very, very bad.

Kai had been out on a joyride when the chanting had started. Which is to say that she had been practising flying which was truly incomparable to anything she had experienced. True it wasn't in the water, but she could ignore that for how awesome it was to fly. Especially without the parachute or space suit that Jake had her wearing in the past.

It did however mean that when she was suddenly in a different universe, she panicked, the breaking of her concentration more than enough to stop her flying capabilities and send her plummeting to the ground. Thankfully she hadn't been too high, because automatically she hit the ground in a roll to absorb the shock. Then she flopped on her back and blew her now very loose hair out of her face with a grumpy expression.

Sitting up she waved a lazy hand at the people around her, whipping a stone hand up to catch a falling piece of paper from the sky. Postcard. That was... Absurdly normal for a universe wide treasure hunt, standing up and brushing the dirt off her clothes, she walked over to pat Chris on the back. "It's okay. Safi, Belle, and Steve, are all capable of taking care of themselves. And they're probably with other people who want back to the hub too. It'll all be okay." She offered softly, before turning to the other three men and presenting the most impressive figure that you can when you're a good half a foot or more shorter than everyone else.

"Alright! I'm Kailani Mahelona. Otherwise none as Kai, or Amp in my super hero alter ego. I'm inhuman, also maybe sort of a member of a military organization from a world that isn't mine- and I apparently need a postcard." She offered with authority, vaguely aware that everyone here was probably ten years older than her. She pointed at a man in a trench Coat standing near Chris. "Your turn!"

Castiel sat quietly in the corner of the front room of the bunker. He was trying to contain his curse research to one area- but he did have a bad habit of building walls around himself and Dean had nearly tripped a few times before Cas had started putting his things in the corners. So he was reading peacefully, contemplating the text in his lap while the breeze ruffled his hair. Feeling the warmth of the sun on his back was enough for Cas to actually look up from his book- and. This was not the bunker. Nor was it anywhere else he had seen in the hub thus far. Snapping his text shut, he slid it into the inner pocket on his coat.

Needlessly dusting the grass from his clothes, He stood up, admiring his surroundings. Including but not limited to the ducks waddling around in the distance. He waved in a small fashion at the other sentient, only to hear a honk of distress and the duck to run away. "I think I may have frightened the natives." He offered quietly with a small tilt of his head. Turning to the others, Cas couldn't help but notice the group of hub folk. Or so he assumed from their similar expressions of confusion.

And one of them was Chris, who Cas did know. Cas flashed to Chris's side and offered him a one armed hug for comfort. "Miss- 'Amp' seems quite right Chris. And I will help you find them once we are returned to the hub." Castiel offered softly, hoping to alleviate Chris's concerns.

The girl then pointed at Cas, making demands. Though she had a point. "I am Castiel. Angel of the Lord. And I require a board game."

Phil. Okay. It was fine, absolutely fine, because Phil was there with him, and together, they could do anything that needed to be done. Clint moved toward where the others were gathering, itching to kiss Phil right there, in front of everyone, but he stopped short, instead just brushing his shoulder against Phil’s. Sure, they were out and together, but that didn’t mean that Phil would be into PDA’s any more than he was before, right? Right, so better to keep it chill, especially seeing that this was more or less a mission that they were on. Besides, he knew that Phil would know what the brush meant. Clint didn’t make contact unless he wanted to, after all.

“Hey, it’s no worse than having to find a clown. I hope it means a doll and not an actual living clown, because… Uh, clowns aren’t gonna like being clown napped very much.” And as much as people thought clowns were just these nice, happy people, most of them… Weren’t either one of those things. Clowns were, a lot of them, the working poor who couldn’t get out of the job without losing their only source of income, forced to look happy and dance around and look like goof ups for a paycheck. Sure, some of them were legitimately happy in the job, but the quiet unhappy were the majority. Being taken from their home, their livelihood, that wasn’t going to go over well. He’d try a damn doll first, that was for sure.

Raising his fingers in a playful salute, Clint grinned to Kai, “I’m Clint, sometimes known as Hawkeye, but really, just Clint is fine.” She looked a bit familiar, but Clint wasn’t going to make any assumptions; those were just as likely as not to get him into trouble, and he didn’t need that right now. As much as he might act like a goof and a fuck up, when he was on mission it was a different Clint that came out. I mean, not that he was going to lose his champion position on Mario Kart or anything, but still….

He let the others comfort the young Tony, not sure what the guy was freaking out about (okay yeah, he knew, but he had no idea how to deal with it, and he wasn’t looking to go making things worse for the poor kid) but Kai seemed to know the guy, so that was good…