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Rating: 3-3-3

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Mutual Not-Feelings
Tag Steve (616)
Marvel-MCU-1

18 Posts
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#1
Bucky was patrolling, mask on, shield in ready position, gun strapped to his thigh. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn't feel at home in this new reality and he certainly wasn't terribly comfortable being vulnerable. At the very least he wanted to learn the areas surrounding their own, so that he could be confident that Princess Shuri The Wakandans would be safe. He did owe them quite a bit, and he wanted to do as much as he could.

Bucky had been warned that he might run into duplicates of himself or others- and he had certainly seen more than one person he would have thought was Tony Stark- though he had yet to properly speak to any of them. But he still hadn't seen himself yet- or the person he both dreaded and anticipated seeing the most. Because Bucky knew that his Steve was dead- gone- no bringing him back- but the idea of seeing any Steve who might share any of his memories- or at the very least his personality- crushed Bucky all over again.

Hell, he wanted that- but he also knew that it would be like ripping the wound open again, just after it had finally started to scab up some.

But when his patrolling took him in the path of a man with a familiar suit, his breath was torn from his lungs for a moment. Bucky felt like he ought to pinch himself, to make completely certain that this man was actually there, and that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. (Though it occurred to him that if his mind was playing tricks on him, he'd have an excellent reason to spend more time in the company of the genius Wakandan Princess.)

Forcing his eyes shut for a moment, he opened them again to confirm that this other Captain was still there. Bucky took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and then walked up to the other hero. Offering his free hand to shake, he introduced himself. "Pleasure to meet you Captain, I'm Captain America." He started, voice as genuine as he could manage while using the name, before remembering that he had his cowl up and the other man wouldn't know him. "Otherwise known as Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes."

Bucky was proud of himself for how clearly his voice came out, and with minimal wavering. His hand betrayed his nerves slightly with the tiny amount of shaking it did.
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Marvel-616 Universe

232 Posts
6 Threads
Age:27 or 99 depending on how you define "age"
Job: Soldier/Avenger
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation:
Becky

All Accounts Posts: 257
Points: 1,840.85€
#2
It is a cool dark night, excellent for a brisk walk to clear his head. Bucky had been rescued. He's sleeping now after a full day under Justin's medical care. There's a lot to talk about, but now wasn't the time. Bucky needed his sleep and Steve needed to clear some of the demons from his mind first.

He hears footsteps and turns in time to see a familiar costume approach. Another version of Captain America? Steve gives a tiny sigh, he's really not in the mood to meet himself tonight.

He shakes the other man's hand as he introduces himself as Captain America...and Sargeant Barnes.

"...Bucky?" Steve asks, "what? How?"
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Marvel-MCU-1

18 Posts
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#3
Bucky couldn't help the way his faux smile melted at the other man's voice- because he'd recognize it if he was drugged and tortured until he barely knew his own name- this other Captain was none other than Steve Rogers. The usually (at least faux) cheerful hero suddenly found his throat dryer than the Sahara. "So you are Steve." Bucky confirmed aloud, though his voice was soft enough to be missed if one wasn't listening for it.

Saying the words out loud just made it all the more real, and he held on to his shield as a lifeline. He knew the other man had asked a question- But Bucky needed a moment to collect himself before he could make any more sounds fall from his lips.

For the start of an answer, he reached up and pulled his mask off- he was hopeful that that would be sufficient proof of his identity, though he did go a step further when he finally found his voice. "I took up the shield after Steve-" He managed, though his mouth choked on the last words. "After Steve couldn't anymore." He finished lamely, unable to force out the words that had rung in his ears since the day he had heard the news.

After Steve Rogers died.
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Marvel-616 Universe

232 Posts
6 Threads
Age:27 or 99 depending on how you define "age"
Job: Soldier/Avenger
Ship Status: Single
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Becky

All Accounts Posts: 257
Points: 1,840.85€
#4
"After Steve couldn't anymore."

Steve could read between the lines. He knew there were very few reasons that he would ever give up the sword. And the look on Bucky's face reminds him of his own in the months after he lost his own Bucky.

"I'm sorry," Steve says. And he feels like he's apologizing on behalf of the other Steve. I'm sorry for leaving you alone like this. I'm sorry for the heartbreak I've caused. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

"For what it's worth," Steve says, "I always intended for my Bucky to pick up the shield if I ever went down."
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Marvel-MCU-1

18 Posts
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#5
Bucky winced and tried to shrug off the apology- the words that were so close in tone to that of his friend- but missing something distinct, though Bucky couldn't tell you what. "Not your fault." Bucky replied, feeling the low notes rumbling in his chest as he distinctly did not cry. "It's not even my Steve's fault."

Bucky took a breath to recollect his thoughts when the following comment hit him like freight train. He bared his teeth slightly in an almost growl. "No. It may surprise you- but finding that out is not my idea of comforting. And this is my shield not Steve's. His blew up with him." Bucky didn't even like the idea that his Steve may have had that thought before death.

"Would it make you feel better?" He added softly as he recollected himself.
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Marvel-616 Universe

232 Posts
6 Threads
Age:27 or 99 depending on how you define "age"
Job: Soldier/Avenger
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation:
Becky

All Accounts Posts: 257
Points: 1,840.85€
#6
Steve didn't miss the determined 'I will not cry' tone of Bucky's voice and his heart ached for the man in front of him. He recognized the sound from his own voice in the months after losing his Bucky.

"How long ago?" Steve asks.

Steve isn't surprised by Bucky's anger. The lad always did have a bit of a temper.

"Would what make me feel better? Knowing that you carried on being Captain America after I died? Because yes, it would make me feel better." Steve says honestly.
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Marvel-MCU-1

18 Posts
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Age:100
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#7
Bucky chuckled humorously. "A couple months. Not very long after they pulled me out of cryo and proclaimed me fixed." Bucky grimaced, those few weeks having been like paradise compared to what came after. For a few precious weeks, he had been free, free of Hydra, free of the army, free of the loss he felt about his family. And he had his best friend with him. For the first time in nearly eighty years, Bucky and Steve had each other's backs. It seemed impossibly nice compared to his world now- made him wonder whether it had all been a nice dream.

But the shield on his arm never failed to prove what reality was now. The awful parts- as well as the good ones. After all, if it were not for Princess Shuri, Bucky's last memories of his best friend would be being the reason for a split between the avengers. He kept reminding himself that- that at least he had gotten some time with Steve. And that was better than none.

Bucky shook his head at the reply, having known that was the answer. "No. If your Bucky died, would it make you feel better to know that he wanted you to champion his ideals and fight in his place? Because at least for me, it doesn't. Not in the slightest."
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Marvel-616 Universe

232 Posts
6 Threads
Age:27 or 99 depending on how you define "age"
Job: Soldier/Avenger
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation:
Becky

All Accounts Posts: 257
Points: 1,840.85€
#8
"I'm sorry. You both deserved better than that," Steve says sympathetically. Losing Bucky once was enough. Losing him, only to gain him back for a few months before losing him a second time is horrible. Even thinking about it makes Steve want to run back to his apartment and make sure his Bucky is sleeping peacefully.

"It's different for me. My Bucky was a kid. He wasn't an adult entering a war for freedom, he was a teenager, just trying live up to the memory of his dad. Someone that young should have been in school talking to girls, not on the front lines." Steve says harshly, "I let him down. It's not like you and your Steve where you had each other's backs. I was the older one. It was my responsibility to look after him and I failed."
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Marvel-MCU-1

18 Posts
3 Threads
Age:100
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All Accounts Posts: 540
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#9
Bucky sighed and acknowledged the other man's apology with a nod of his head. He frowned slightly at the reply- the words he wanted to say building in his throat before he took a deep breath. Arguing wasn't going to do either of them any good- it certainly wouldn't bring Steve back.

"Either way, it's hard to hear that someone you've lost wants you to be Captain America- because for me at least, it just makes me miss the man who was Captain America. I hope for your sake that your Bucky is alive though, since you speak about him as if he were dead. " The Captain offered, gesturing slightly with his shield at the path he had been walking. "Would you like to join me on my patrol?"
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Marvel-616 Universe

232 Posts
6 Threads
Age:27 or 99 depending on how you define "age"
Job: Soldier/Avenger
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation:
Becky

All Accounts Posts: 257
Points: 1,840.85€
#10
Bucky takes a deep breath and seems to swallow down his next words. Steve wonders if his presence is helping Bucky or just making things more painful.

"No, he's alive" Steve flashes him a small smile. He still gets a thrill of saying that. Bucky is alive, and home, and safe. Sure they had a long way to go before he could be fully deemed healthy, but they were working on it and just getting him here was a major victory in Steve's opinion. "We just got him back, so it's still a little new to me." He adds.

"I'd be happy to join you, but why are you patrolling. I was under the impression that the hub is safe." Steve says.
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Marvel-MCU-1

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#11
Bucky nodded slightly- biting his lip for a brief second before offering a tiny quirk of his mouth. "I know an incredible woman who could help with deprogramming your Bucky if you'd like. She's the reason I got any time at all with my Steve. I can't thank her enough." He explained quietly, his eyes softening with the thought of the Princess who had given him back his own mind.

Bucky shrugged awkwardly, shifting his shield while he did so. "It may be- but I am a new arrival, and though the Princess is certainly capable of protecting herself, there is no harm in learning what lay around us."
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Marvel-616 Universe

232 Posts
6 Threads
Age:27 or 99 depending on how you define "age"
Job: Soldier/Avenger
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation:
Becky

All Accounts Posts: 257
Points: 1,840.85€
#12
"Really?" Steve asks hopefully, "yes please. Thank you." He wonders who this incredible woman is. Perhaps Natasha? He would like to meet another universe version of her. "She can help Justin. He's the doctor working with Bucky now. Is she here in the hub?"

"Princess?" Steve asks. Was that Bucky's petname for Natasha. He can't imagine the Natasha he knows liking it. She would probably punch her Bucky if he called her that.
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Marvel-MCU-1

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All Accounts Posts: 540
Points: 220.97€
#13
Bucky smiled softly at this Steve's eagerness. It was very like every version of the man he had known- worried first with others. He ducked his head in acknowledgement. "It's no problem truly. She likes to solve things, fix them, make them better. She'd probably be overjoyed with the challenge if she hadn't already fixed me. Even then she'll probably be quite pleased to be able to prove that it wasn't a fluke." He paused before adding a reply to the question- because part of him was worried about telling anyone about Princess Shuri's whereabouts- but with a sigh he did. "Yes. She is the reason I am in the hub. The Princess created our portal."

He quirked an eyebrow at Steve's rephrasing of the word- as though it were strange for Bucky to be calling her a Princess. He supposed that if you didn't know she was one, it may sound like a- a pet name. Or something strange. "Yes. Princess Shuri of Wakanda. She does not have a doctorate- but it took her less than four months to give me my mind back. And even less time to create a stable hole in reality."
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Marvel-616 Universe

232 Posts
6 Threads
Age:27 or 99 depending on how you define "age"
Job: Soldier/Avenger
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation:
Becky

All Accounts Posts: 257
Points: 1,840.85€
#14
She sounds amazing and exactly like what his Bucky needs. "I -and I'm sure Bucky as well- would be grateful for whatever help she is willing to offer us."

"Princess if Wakanda? Is she T'Chaka's daughter?" Steve asks excitedly. He had met King T'Chaka during the war and found the man to be a wise and inspiring leader despite his young age. The fact that the young man he once knew now had adult children of his own was bittersweet and a painful reminder of how much he had missed in the ice. "How is King T'Chaka doing?"
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