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RPF* Real Person Fiction; IE Apping an actual celebrity

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Oh, You're Here
September 2nd, 2017-Tag Tony
Marvel-MCU-3

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#1
Kai had shown her around the Tower a bit, and, as it turned out, her biometrics worked in the Tower. So, it seemed like the Tower was going to be, not home, Natalia was certain that no place that didn't have Steve and Bucky could ever be home, but a place to live. A base of operation.

So she'd walked in to the suite that Friday directed her to, and found, that, rather disconcertingly, it was equipped with books she'd read and clothes that fit her and weapons that she knew how to use. Not all of it was familiar, but it was all things that she had picked out. Or would have picked out, if she'd been the version of Natasha who'd furnished this version of her apartment.

After checking the place out she'd showered, and fallen into bed and now, she'd woken up and was hungry. Which meant dressing, and padding down to the thankfully unoccupied kitchen, where she set about making herself a sandwich, and putting the kettle on to make tea.
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Marvel-MCU-1

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#2
“So this is a thing.” Tony’s fingers danced over the still faintly orange glowing reactor. Friday had informed him that A Natasha had made herself at home; and considering the fact that Clint hadn’t fallen on her like a puppy and the hair meant that he was PRETTY sure that this wasn’t his version.

Yay. I mean if he had to be something at least the role of innkeeper to displaced people that could break him with their thighs was at least familiar.

“See there’s a part of me that’s curious about the differences in our universes but-“ he continued his journey towards coffee, “I’m too tired to give a shit.” He finished slumping into his doctored mug.
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#3
Black Widow tensed, and, for just a moment, was ready to strike out at this....person. The one who'd torn apart the best team she'd ever worked with. It was Natalia, oddly, who made her listen, made her realize that this man, even if he looked like Tony Stark-looked like the Tony Stark she knew, wasn't the man who'd caused so much hurt. Or maybe he was, but she'd refrain from doing anything until she was certain. So Black Widow stood down, and it was Natasha who looked over at him, leaning against the counter while she waited for the tea to boil.

"That makes two of us." she replied "I can't say that I give a shit about any version of Tony Stark. Assuming that you aren't from a different point in the same timeline, in which case, well, I really don't give a shit about you."
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#4
Tony snorted at the threat; had he actually ever feared for his life around her? His version of her? Impressed, terrified in a ‘that could have been an ex-‘ but actually afraid for his life?

Things to ponder when he felt introspective. So never.

“You know what? I’m getting really tired of being blamed for other versions of me shitting in people’s coffee. There’s like-“ he glanced at the ceiling “like at least three other versions of me. One of whom actually is a dick. Go get angry at them.” Huh probably not the smartest thing to say but he was tired, very very tired and the stone did not help keep his inside voice inside.
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#5
"I'm not angry at you." Natasha said. As she spoke, her tone was even, conversational, as though she was discussing a perfectly normal topic "If I were angry with you, there would be blood by now. Possibly screaming." depending on whether or not she'd gone for his windpipe or not. "I just don't give a shit about you, and I don't give a shit about any of the versions of you. But fine, lets pretend that you're different. So, tell me how different you are. Please. Describe the differences between you and the Tony Stark I know. Or are you not a workaholic billionaire playboy with ADHD, sobriety issues and a burning desire to fuck Captain America?"
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#6
“Umm excuse you what exactly is wrong with being a workaholic?” Tony actually knew his version of Nat fairly well...well as well as he suspected anyone that wasn’t Clint or Phil anyway. “Also why are those negative things? I work hard to keep people alive.” Playboy? “Not for years, but even if I was? Not even my version of Nat gets to take me to task so back the fuck off. What I love? Is that every version of the Avengers seem to thing that it’s ok to come into my house, live, use the tech I give them and than shit all over me. You know what?” Tony’s eyes flattened out “I’m done. I met you 20 seconds ago. And I’ve gotten judged juried and executionered on me.”

Tony grabbed his coffee, “go shit on another Tony’s door.”
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#7
"I'm not shitting on you." Natasha said "I'm just explaining to you, in simple words, why you don't matter to me. If you want me gone from the tower, I"ll be glad to leave. I just moved in to the closest thing to my room. If you have a problem with that, then why don't you change the biometrics? I'm sure that a supergenius like you could manage to do that. I think that you're lonely, and you want your team around you. Ok, whatever. People want things. But I'm not going to apologize for assuming that Tony Stark is Tony Stark, no matter what universe he's from. I notice you didn't deny my description. Not the important parts, anyway."
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#8
There were things Tony didn’t admit aloud, things he just did, like keeping the Tower open to any version of the Avengers; somewhere I His crowded mind the odds had been calculated, risk assessed. And he’d decided that making sure that any displaced Avengers had a safe spot they could come ‘home’ too was more important than his personal safety. The odds that one of them might want to kill him were assessed and dismissed as ‘manageable’. While the concept that an injured, disoriented member Of his team from any world wouldn’t be able to access help? That had been his deciding factor.

“I’m not your Tony. And I’m not my dad. So no. There is no ‘my house my rules’ but if all you’re in the mood for is to bitch at a Tony stand in for the one you're pissed at-“ he glanced at his watch tapping it. “There one LMD with my face on it. Go have fun killing me.” Tony sipped his coffee, brown eyes icy cold.
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#9
"I don't want you dead." she replied, tone just as flat, eyes just as icy, more of Black Widow peeking out as the conversation continued "You're important to the Avengers, you're important to keeping the world in one piece. I assume that part is true in your universe as well. I'm not a child who needs to punch a pillow to get my feelings out, thanks. So yeah, if you're cool with it, I'll stay here, and if the world needs saved, I'll save it with you, and that is just going to have to be good enough for you. I'm sorry if it hurts your tender feelings, but I don't feel like trying to be buddy buddy with someone who broke up my relationship. Sorry."
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#10
Tony rolled his eyes, “oh come one really? You’re pissed at me for another version of me making off with-“ he cocked his head, “Bruce? I could see that...I mean the whole Hulk thing is intimidating but you know could be fun to cuddle.” He was babbling and he knew it, but putting his mouth on auto pilot was better than dealing with the twisting in his stomach as he was reminded of HIS personal issues with being betrayed.

“But sorry. Cuddle Bear is all yours if he shows, no lust in my dark little heart for big and green.”
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#11
"Bruce!?!" she exclaimed, surprise cutting through her irritation. "Was that you your version of me was with? Seriously? No, it wasn't Bruce. It was Steve. You'd had a crush on him for years" she almost corrected herself, but saw no reason to think that he didn't have the same feelings about Steve as her version of Tony had "but never made a move, right? Well, in my universe, my version of Tony Stark did make a move. There was a party, and apparently it finally dawned on Tony that Steve wasn't as 'repressed' as he'd always imagined." Thor had brought some Asgardian mead that could, apparently, get even Steve and Bucky wasted, and the three of them had ended up drunkenly making out in a corner. To be fair, she didn't know that was why Tony had finally decided that his pass might have a snowballs chance of being accepted, but based on the leering comments he'd made the next day, she had a good guess.
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#12
Tony’s eyebrows shot up, “Wow. Ok that’s-“ he blinked down at his coffee and added a second shot. “Funny Story. In my world Steve made the pass at me and than decided that left cuddle time with the winter dick was better than a year with me.” Tony grinned humorlessly, “Never thought Steve was a cheat in any universe, kinda shaking my world view here romanoff.”

Tony finished his coffee in one long slug, “Welp, good news my Steve is dead. And there another like...three running around so-“ he made a hand wavy motion. “Go yell at them.”
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#13
"Of course Steve picked Bucky over you" Natalia said, blurting it out even as Natasha winced and Black Widow continued cataloging the differences between the universes. "He'd been in love with Bucky for years" even if it had taken him awhile to admit that his feelings were romantic and sexual "you were-" she took a breath, doing her best to be fair "he was, my Tony was-a distraction. A mistake. Then he was a safe place for Steve to go, where he didn't have to feel guilty about Bucky dying." she remembered what he'd said as he left 'I'm sorry Nat. I can't-I can't live with a ghost anymore. Tell me when you're ready to start living again.' But she hadn't been ready, and maybe she never would be. Maybe he'd known that. "Sorry if I'm messing with your world view. But yeah, he did cheat, a little. Tony kissed him and Steve didn't push him away. If it helps reaffirm your worldview, he felt like absolute shit about it the next day."

"What about your Bucky?" she asked, before she could stop herself from asking the question. Not that she thought that she could substitute one man for the other, but at the same time, just being able to see him..."I'll be sure to tell him to do himself a favor and stay away from Asgardian mead and your bed." she said dryly "Assuming it isn't too late for that."
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#14
Tony blinked at her outburst. He wasn’t an idiot but now he was a little lost because it sounded like Steve had kinda slutted it up in the Avengers and- “Wait...waaa?” He sputtered, “me, Barnes, and Steve?!” His brain seg faulted. Because he swore she just implied that he fucked Barnes.

“Barnes last I knew was still kicking around. Back under T'challa tender care for the brain washing.”
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#15
Natasha was starting to realize that the relationships in this Tony's world must have been remarkably different from the ones in hers, and she tried to correct his confusion. "No, it was me, Bucky and Steve. As far as I know you never tried to get into James's pants. Or mine." the last wasn't strictly true, Tony had expressed mild interest when she was working as his PA, but that was is default reaction to anyone who was reasonably attractive and of age, not anything personal. "Not you, the Tony from my universe. I have no idea who you've tried to screw." she sighed "I hope T'Challa can help him undo the programming. My Bucky was able to do that."
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#16
Natasha, Steve….Bucky… Tony’s brain blue screened again; “that sounds...athletic.” He sipped his coffee gathering his shattered thoughts.

That was…

Yeah.

Wow.

Huh.

“Ummmhumm.” Yep gonna be chewing on that mental image for a while now.
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#17
Natasha poured the hot water into the teapot and dropped the tea ball in after it, giving Tony a moment to compose himself. "Yes, it was, sometimes. " she said, finally "It was also tender and beautiful, what we had. But all most people could see was the sex-including you, apparently. So yeah. Anyway, that's in the past. So tell me about your life. Was it Steve who started it? Or were you the one corrupting the innocent? I assume that some of Tony Stark's kinks have to be universal constants." yes, it was a cruel remark, but his reaction had hurt her, and she wanted to draw some blood.
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#18
Because Tony was Tony there was a part of his mind that was already turning and twisting over possible ‘attachments’ for Barnes’s arm.

Look he never said he was a good person.


Tony rolled his eyes, less at the concept that sex and love could be beautiful and more because it was expected, she wanted him to be an asshole so why attempt to disappoint? Nat wasn’t there to try and get to know him so...eh.

“To be fair I didn’t get to him first.” Tony poured himself another coffee, “and also? Not really any of your beeswax. Unless you're planning on hunting him down and having beautiful moments.”
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#19
Natasha might have listened to him, if he'd wanted to really talk, instead of being a snarky bastard, but since he was being a snarky bastard, she was content to snark right back "Oh, so as long as someone else pops his cherry its all good?" she shot back "No, I'm not planning on tracking him down. I try not to make the same mistakes twice. I was just curious. Wondering how different you were from the Tony in my universe."
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#20
Yeah see while verbal snarkage was the cornerstone of all his relationships there was a distinct difference between say how Bruce or Rhodey playfully snarked and the shit she pulled and continued to throw at him since her first sentence.

“See I’d have been happy to pop that too.” Tony stared down the red headed assassin unblinkingly. “You’re trying to shame me here and cool you’ve got baggage. But im not your Tony. So take it from me. Chill.”
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