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Don't Tell My Heart
Tag: Palpatine | August 10
DC-DCTVU-1

269 Posts
14 Threads
Age:29
Job: PA/Magician
Ship Status: Single with Complications
Sexual Orientation: Pan-Romantic
Nyte

All Accounts Posts: 754
Points: 4,756.22€
#1
This was becoming a terrible, terrible month.

When you started with someone telling your deepest secrets and the subsequent rejection from the person you….whatever…who was also your best friend, well…. Christian should have figured August was going to be bad. And by bad he meant awful, painful, and long.

And it was raining. Again. Like the weather had caught his mood. But at least he wasn't crying right now. No, he was dry eyed, even as he hurt.

That was becoming his new normal; hurting. His chest felt too tight and heavy, breathing felt like a chore, but he wasn't gasping, and he wasn't crying. This was his life now. If he could just get past this, things would be better. He just had to keep reminding himself of that and maybe he would eventually believe it. Probably not.

He kept his head down as he moved, walking briskly but when someone stepped into his path he knew without looking up, “Sorry, excuse me.” The words were polite and automatic, of course, anyone from the south would have recognized southern manners at work. He shifted to move around the man with a small smile.
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Star Wars-Movies

11 Posts
3 Threads
Age:88
Job: Sith Lord/Politician/Emperor
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Waffles

Points: 227.12€
#2
There was someone around here with a lot of potential, someone who radiated a negative emotions. The betrayal, the anger, the sadness, all of these emotions were quite delicious for the former Emperor to feel. Now he was on a quest to find the source of these emotions, the being that had such potential to fall to the dark and continue the legacy of the Sith. He was always looking for new apprentices, and with there being so many universes with different kinds of people in it, there was a lot of potential to spread the influence of the Sith to many universes.

As he continued on his path, he blinked when he bumped into someone. The hooded Sith Lord looked at the person who bumped into him, and smiled under the shadows of his hood when he found the person giving off the negative emotions he was sensing earlier. Good, now that he found this young man, he could start trying to bring this person over to his side. He would need to play his cards carefully, try not to scare the man away before he could ensnare him with the promise of power.

"No problem at all, my dear boy. I can tell you have a lot on your mind, the sadness and anger you're feeling right now is quite obvious. You look like you could use a friend at this moment, so perhaps I could lend you ears" he said, cloaking his presence in the Force so one could not detect his true nature. He made sure to use a bit of Sith Magic to modify his facial features so that he didn't look as desiccated as normal, and made sure to make his voice sound like a normal, wizened voice than that of a low rasp like it normally was.
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DC-DCTVU-1

269 Posts
14 Threads
Age:29
Job: PA/Magician
Ship Status: Single with Complications
Sexual Orientation: Pan-Romantic
Nyte

All Accounts Posts: 754
Points: 4,756.22€
#3
Christian was trying to stop feeling betrayed. He had told Jaya she was forgiven, and on one level, she was; he understood that people made mistakes, and that she hadn’t meant to hurt him. But she had hurt him, she had betrayed his trust, and that was much more difficult to get over than just understanding. He just had to work through it.

He would deal with it, and he would move on. He had to.

But then there had been that talk with Tony, and that… That was something else altogether. Tony had reassured him that this thing between him and Safi was just… Sex. Like Jaya had said in the first place. But Chris would never just believe that. How could anyone get to know Safi, really know him, (and Tony had to know Safi to be having sex with him, right? Maybe not… Safi didn’t seem to always know the people he slept with…) and not love him? Or if not love, then at least care for, deeply?

He didn’t mean to actually touch the man who had stepped into his path unknowingly, but there it was. Visibly, Chris didn’t appear angry or even overly sad. Distracted, perhaps. His eyes were dry, perhaps a little puffy, and slightly red-rimmed, but that could be just a lack of sleep, too. He made sure, before he left his room in the morning, that he looked presentable. That Safi wouldn’t have to worry. That Safi wouldn’t know how miserable Christian was. Because that wasn’t acceptable.

The man was kind enough to accept Christian’s apology, so at least that could be a bright point in his day. Seriously, were things so bad that someone accepting a simple apology a bright point? Yeesh… Chris needed to figure this out, and quickly. At this rate, all of Lexcorp would know something had him all twisted up… And that… He couldn’t have that. Because this was personal, none of their business, and because it would end up with Safi being mistreated, and the man didn’t deserve that.

Just because he didn’t feel the same for Chris as Chris felt for him didn’t mean he should be punished for it.

Blinking at the man, Chris shifted, his eyes hesitant. After all, this whole mess had started because he’d made a friend and tried to vent to her. “Have you ever wished that you could just… Not feel a certain way?” He sighed, probably not. Most people seemed to be just fine. To find people that loved them back.
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Star Wars-Movies

11 Posts
3 Threads
Age:88
Job: Sith Lord/Politician/Emperor
Ship Status: Single
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Waffles

Points: 227.12€
#4
Palpatine's Sith yellow eyes honed in on the negative emotions that Chris was obviously feeling down about something. The fact that the man even accepted his offer to listen to his problems was just another indicator of that. The negative emotions filled Palpatine with a sense of smug satisfaction about how this boy was ripe for the picking when it came to obtaining another Sith Apprentice. With the right words and guiding, this boy will definitely become truly great, perhaps even greater than that traitor Vader ever would be.

He pulled his hood back a bit to reveal a face that was old, but something more of a man who's age gracefully, around the time before his confrontation with Mace Windu, his eyes becoming blue. He tilted his head to the side as he adopted a pondering expression on his face at the question. He had a feeling he knew what kind of feeling the young man was talking about, and it was quite clear that this was his chance to get the Sith Empire restarted, and on a much better note than it had before.

"It depends, really. Emotions have their purpose, even the negative ones. If a person doesn't feel, they aren't motivated to go through life. Emotions give you power, and I speak of this in a very literal sense, not just a metaphorical sense. Would you mind telling me what you're feeling so I can help you?" he asked the man with a patient, kind smile on his face. He made absolutely sure that he used his charisma and superb acting abilities to make sure that he didn't tip the man off to his true nature.
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DC-DCTVU-1

269 Posts
14 Threads
Age:29
Job: PA/Magician
Ship Status: Single with Complications
Sexual Orientation: Pan-Romantic
Nyte

All Accounts Posts: 754
Points: 4,756.22€
#5
Not only did he have Safi’s comfort to worry about, but… Christian was very well known amongst his peers. He had a reputation for being put together, prepared, on top of things, and successful with his projects. He couldn’t let that change; he had worked far too hard to falter in his work because his personal life had just sort of taken a nose dive into the trash bin.

The question left Christian’s lips before he could think better of asking something like this to a complete stranger. It was foolish, and about as far away from being a safe thing to do as it got. People took advantage of vulnerability, but right now? Christian couldn’t drum up the desire to care. He was hurting, and he wanted it to stop, and maybe just venting a little bit to someone he probably would never see or meet again would help. Maybe.

If a person doesn’t feel, they aren’t motivated to go through life.

The sigh that left Christian was as though it were being pulled, dragged from his lungs, a flustered, frustrated noise. “I’m not sure all emotions make you want to go through life. Right now I sort of just wanna…” Lay down and sleep. Forever. Yeah, that was the nicest way Chris could put it… “I don’t feel very powerful like this…”

What was he feeling? Chris blinked, his eyes growing moist. “I…” he sighed, “Lots of things, really. But…” Fidgeting, Chris shrugged, “There’s a person I care about, but they don’t feel the same way. So there’s that. And a friend told them, knowing I didn’t want her to. And now it’s… Safi deserves to be happy.” It was evident that the last sentence was meant as a reminder to himself, not as anything for the man who was being kind enough to listen. “Feels like my heart can’t keep beating, but it must be, right? I’m still here, still alive. Like tomorrow can’t come, but it just keeps on coming anyway.” And maybe there was something small and angry and buried deep in Christian that maybe resented that the world kept on going even with how he felt, just a teeny tiny little bit.
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