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Walk of shame
Marvel-616-1

78 Posts
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Kel

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#1
Wanda Maximoff tried very hard not to judge people, she'd married a robot, rebooted the world, killed team mates while insane...her legs to stand on were quite shaky at best.

How ever that did not stop the look she gave Tony as she all but ran into him skulking out of the Steve lookalikes room.

Oh good goddess.

Tony Stark had that ridden hard and put up wet look she'd had the ‘pleasure’ of witnessing no few times in the past. Just never when coming out of ‘Steve’s’ room.

“Oh you're kidding me.” She hissed, barely resisting the urge to facepalm.
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
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Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
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#2
Tony slid out of Safi's room quietly, relatively sure he'd be the only one up at this hour, at least in this part of the mansion. He hoped. He'd dressed again, but his clothes were rumpled and he was still damp from the tub and there could be absolutely no doubt as to what he'd just been up to.

It took nearly all of his willpower not to groan at the sight of Wanda coming up quickly around the corner, especially when she gave him a Look and muttered, "Oh you're kidding me."

Tony opened his mouth to defend himself, but--rare for him--nothing came out. "I was just..." he tried finally, then winced. "Are you going to tell anyone about this?"
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Marvel-616-1

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#3
Wanda sighed, Tony at least had the sense to look guilty, “Just you. You. me. Tea now.” Wanda spun back to her suite, expecting him to follow. He did NOT want her to have to chase him down.

Wanda’s suite was someplace she was actually fairly sure Tony had never if ever been inside of, since it fairly dripped magical paraphanialla; normally she accommodated his dislike of her disaplince but today...today he was being taken to the carpet in her domain.

A single finger imperiously gestured for him to take a seat at the neat table next to the window overlooking the herb garden.

“Tony..” Wanda set a pair of tea cups between them along with a kettle. “What were you thinking?” She finished with a sigh settling across from him.
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
Ship Status: Open to shipping
Sexual Orientation: Sure, with just about anyone (but I don't want to write it explicitly)
Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#4
Tony followed Wanda to her room. He hadn't seen it in a long time, barring his quick glimpse in during her naked karaoke phase, but it looked familiar nonetheless. He let her guide him to a table and sat down while she went to fetch a tea set. Because, why not. If she was going to pry into aspects of his personal life that he still couldn't begin to explain to himself, why shouldn't there be tea. He was fairly sure she hadn't been aware of his feelings for Steve, at least up until the point where they'd parted in his timeline, but the way she was looking at him suggested otherwise.

What had he been thinking? He looked at her for a moment, then bowed his head, an insane chuckle clawing its way up his throat. What had he been thinking. There was the easy way out, of course, to say that he hadn't--but then, he was Tony Stark and she would know immediately that that hadn't been true. No, his thoughts at the time had formed a delicate web of justifications and self-delusion and plain old denial, plus some genuine lust and a desire to let loose like he hadn't been able to do in months. But there was no way to put any of that into words so he just laughed, stopping short of the point where Wanda might believe he'd lost his mind entirely.

"That," he said finally, taking a deep breath, "is a really great question."
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Marvel-616-1

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#5
Wanda actually didn't know he held any unrequited feelings for Steve of the romantic nature; she knew had seen his deep and abiding love for the First Avenger, one that she would easily classify as a type of soul mate.

She just hadn't thought it romantic.

Which was why she and others had dismissed that reality where they had married, not simply because by the time they found that solution it was far to late.

Dreamy blue eyes that had to often held madness flinched at the nearly broken laugh that escaped Tony. “Oh Tony…” Wanda sighed covering his hand with hers. “Talk to me here. Was it curiosity? I mean Steve..” there was something in her tone that would hint at more intimate knowledge of the First Avenger than Tony likely knew she possessed.

“I didn't even know you liked men like that.” She added.
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
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Sexual Orientation: Sure, with just about anyone (but I don't want to write it explicitly)
Jasmine (starkly-tony)

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#6
Wanda rested her hand on Tony's, asking if it were curiosity, as if she knew a little something about that herself. Tony had to resist the urge to let out another unhinged laugh.

"Curiosity? I guess you could say that."

It wasn't exactly untrue. And Wanda thinking it had been some sort of sick curiosity--because what was Tony Stark if not curious about the world--would be far easier than telling her the full truth, whatever that was. It seemed in character enough, that after a year of bitter fighting and getting Steve killed he'd be curious about what he'd missed out on.

As for the rest... he shrugged. "I do. Never made a big deal of it, reputation to uphold, also, population rates and all that," he waved a dismissive hand. "Are you really surprised?"
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Marvel-616-1

78 Posts
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#7
“Tony…” there was madness in his voice, the near breakage of a soul pushed beyond its limits. Was she surprised the consummate ladies man was at the very least Bi? Yes actually.

Did she judge him or care? “Billy is gay.” She pointed out, “I just thought I knew you well enough to have guessed.” She doubted the women in his life had been beards, Pepper, and Rumiko at least seemed to her to have been true love matches for while they lasted.

“My son.” She continued, realizing belatedly that he might not know of their rebirth yet in his timeline.

“Do you..” oh gods what if they had been wrong? “Have feelings for Steve?”
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
Ship Status: Open to shipping
Sexual Orientation: Sure, with just about anyone (but I don't want to write it explicitly)
Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#8
"Your son," Tony said quietly. Somehow, thinking about the pain Wanda had gone through was grounding, reminded him that he wasn't the only one who had a sad story. He didn't need her to see him wallowing in doubt and self-pity.

His breath caught in his throat at her next question. He couldn't have been that transparent. Had to believe that. "No," he lied, forcing himself to meet her eyes instead of staring into his teacup. "No, not--like that. Nothing like that. Mutual attraction, with Safi, I mean, not Steve--well, it wouldn't have been mutual--that's all."
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Marvel-616-1

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#9
“They are alive...it's..complicated.” She sighed rubbing her nose at the oversimplification. Tony met her eyes...and she was fairly sure lied to her face.

‘It wouldn't have been mutual-’ that was closer to the truth. Oh gods help her.

“Are you..sure?” She asked hesitatingly, running over in her mind their interactions she'd witnessed the last decade. “Just mutual attraction? That was all?” Wanda bit her lip, worry setting fine lines around her eyes.
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
Ship Status: Open to shipping
Sexual Orientation: Sure, with just about anyone (but I don't want to write it explicitly)
Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#10
Was he sure? Tony resisted the suddenly very strong urge to bury his head in his hands. But that would be a bit more telling than he was comfortable with. Wanda already looked worried and like she knew too much. Instead he pasted on a smile, "Yes. I'm sure. Maybe not my best judgment ever, but..." he shrugged. "I'm don't--I didn't--have feelings for him. Really."
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Marvel-616-1

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#11
Tony….she wished she knew for certain he was telling the truth. “Tony...of all the people in the world perhaps me who is from your future would be the best to...get things off your chest with?”

Wanda disliked using the time with Steve as a test, it left a bad taste in her mouth, what they had was special and it felt like defilement to break her silence now. “That one world...did you still want to know what the event was that stopped the war?”
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
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Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#12
"There isn't anything I need to get off my chest," Tony insisted, though it seemed obvious at this point that Wanda wasn't entirely buying that line. He took a sip of his tea in an attempt to fake even more casualness, and added, "I know. Cap was... he was probably my best friend, before the war, and what I did is pretty fucked up. Which is par for the course for me, doing something fucked up I mean, but it doesn't mean anything. Really."

He was rambling, which was probably doing less to convince her than guilty silence would have. He focused on the tea again, and asked, "What stopped the war?"
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Marvel-616-1

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#13
Yes.
That was how she would have described the pair. But now..she was reconsidering how she'd viewed them all these years; had Tony been hiding some deeper wish? Was it possible Steve would have reciprocated? Her eyes darkened in thought, what was she meddling in? Yes Steve ‘got better’ but they were never truly the same. How much was she hurting by forcing Tony to say these thing?

“In that world you were born a woman.” This felt cruel now, “how do you think that would have changed things?”
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
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Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#14
Born a woman. Well, of all the things he thought she might say... that hadn't been one. He tried to imagine that, for a moment, and was stuck. It was hard to imagine himself being very different, but then, each of the alternate versions of himself he'd met so far had been. But that wasn't really the point, was it. The point was that if he'd been a woman, maybe he wouldn't have hesitated so long (too long) in telling Steve how he felt about him.

And maybe... maybe, Steve would have reciprocated.

Except, no. He'd assumed that his own Steve would have been disgusted at the idea of Tony, another man, his friend, being interested in him sexually. As Safi and the other Steve had made plenty clear, though, that wasn't necessarily the case. But that didn't change the fact that there were plenty of other reasons for Steve to not want him. (For all their flaws, the other Tonys he'd met hadn't been alcoholics. Hadn't done the inexcusable things he'd done in the name of the SHRA.)

"It wouldn't have," he said stiffly. "It wouldn't have changed anything."
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Marvel-616-1

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#15
Wanda’s already sad eyes darkened further. “It changed everything.” She whispered watching him, feeling like an executioner. “We saw Iron Woman Marry Captain America. Together you held the best of his legend and your ability to see the future. Your marriage combined the factions and strangled SHRA stillborn.” Her hands cover his, “we didn't watch the world for long but it was clear they found a compromise in love that...we never saw.” She sighed, honestly was it just the fact that Tony had been a woman? Or had it been other factors?

“I think...we thought that it wasn't a future we could manufacture.”
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
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Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#16
Tony opened his mouth, and closed it again. He'd encountered very few things in his life that could truly render him speechless, but this... No. It was impossible. His hands made fists even as Wanda reached out for them, but he couldn't help himself. Couldn't even keep the anguish off his face at the thought that that had been any possible future.

After a few seconds that were far too long, and far too telling, he said in a low voice, "I don't believe that. Steve would never--I mean. I don't see how he could have--" he stopped, and took a shaky breath. Even if he couldn't quite picture himself, the image of Steve looking at him with love wasn't too hard to manufacture. There had been times in his life, even, that he'd seen it--not the same kind of love, but still. Something close enough that it didn't take too much effort to interpose it onto an imagined scene of celebration and happiness and love. Maybe that was why it hurt so much, because once there had been that depth of feeling there, even if Steve had never reciprocated his feelings exactly. He realized he'd broken off midsentence, nearly on the verge of tears, and forced himself to say in a voice that didn't sound quite like his, "It couldn't have happened that way."
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Marvel-616-1

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#17
“No...at the time we didn't think it could have.” And now she wondered how wrong they might have been. “This is cruel to say.” She admitted aloud, “but when I saw you leave his room...I wondered if we were wrong. If that might have been a solution that we could have pushed toward..”

Because if she'd been wrong about Tony...who could say if she was wrong about Steve?

Wanda wished she was better at this, the delicate interpersonal interactions that Jan excelled at. “And now there is a Steve here from our past…” Wanda sighed, she knew his opinion on telling him anything and this...yes she did not expect much more than a swift order to abandon any thoughts of telling Steve what she had just told Tony.
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
Ship Status: Open to shipping
Sexual Orientation: Sure, with just about anyone (but I don't want to write it explicitly)
Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#18
"What does it matter?" Tony snapped, pulling his hand back roughly. Anger was bubbling up in him, because it wasn't fair for her to be throwing all this at him now. "What the hell does it matter if you could have pushed toward that? He's dead."

He was aware he'd lost his composure, but somehow it seemed as far out of his grasp now as Steve did. When he closed his eyes all he could see was Safi's body and his face, slack with pleasure, but that was fucked up because that in another world another him had had the same thing with Steve. No, better. Another him had gotten to have Steve like that for a lifetime. And Tony--Tony had gotten Steve killed.

"Yes, there's a Steve here from our past," he said, still heated. He knew where she was going with this, but it was impossible. Young Steve didn't even know Tony was Iron Man, and he wanted to keep it that way. He had to. "What is your point?"
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Marvel-616-1

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#19
“He's not dead.” She muttered, wrapping her hands around her tea cup. Where he was now...Wanda suppressed a shudder.

He knew damn well what her point was, but perhaps…”Tony...why are you here? Why are you still here? I know I'm hiding, are you?” Wanda leaned back bangles chiming, “is this your time to grieve? By surrounding yourself with ghosts of a man you loved?” She meant the deep friendship he claimed but there was a increasingly large part of her that wondered..

“That is a whole new level of self torture even for you.”
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Marvel-616

171 Posts
4 Threads
Age:35
Job: Director of SHIELD
Ship Status: Open to shipping
Sexual Orientation: Sure, with just about anyone (but I don't want to write it explicitly)
Jasmine (starkly-tony)

All Accounts Posts: 251
Points: 1,864.72€
#20
"Right. In the future," Tony said dryly. For all he'd lectured the younger Steve about changing the future (his past), he found it hard to put much stock in Wanda's version of it. The future wasn't immutable. Steve was alive in her version of it, but it was impossible to be sure if her present was his future. It was altogether possible that her timeline had diverged from his at some point, especially given the very real evidence of other universes that were walking around. So really, he had little reason to expect that if he just went back to his timeline and waited like a good boy, Steve would come back to him.

”Tony...why are you here? Why are you still here? I know I'm hiding, are you? Is this your time to grieve? By surrounding yourself with ghosts of a man you loved? That is a whole new level of self torture even for you.”

He chuckled humorlessly, because apparently she hadn't bought any of his protests that his feelings for Steve were anything less than pathetically pining and in love. The truth was, he didn't have a good answer. He knew he had to go back, but just the thought of returning to the cold, unwelcoming helicarrier--to the derisive expressions of the SHIELD agents, the other heroes' disgust, working every day and night because he had nothing else--made something inside him twist painfully and immediately. He had responsibilities back home that he was ignoring. Hill and Dugan could handle SHIELD, of course, but there was no telling what damage they were doing to the superhuman community while he was gone. A sick sense of guilt crept over him, completely outside of his feelings about Steve. He was hiding, and he'd been justifying it...how? The Hub was worth exploring, of course. As Director of SHIELD it was under his purview to make sure it was mapped and understood. But that had barely factored into his decision to stay as long as he had. No, as soon as he'd come through the portal and seen Steve--not even his Steve--he'd found it impossible to tear himself away. The appearance of the younger Steve, and whatever was going on with Safi now (and those were feelings he knew it was a bad idea to touch), had only driven the thought of leaving further from his mind.

Wanda was right. It was a new level of self-torture, even for him.

"I shouldn't be here," he said abruptly, meeting her eyes. "I'm hiding, and I--can't. It's selfish and as bad an idea of killing myself would have been." He said that matter of factly, before it occurred to him that she probably hadn't realized that option had ever been on the table. He plowed on anyway, hating the words he was saying but knowing they had to be said, "I'm needed where I was. I should go. I will go. ...Thank you for reminding me of that."
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